Shaquille O’Neal’s new motto now that he’s joined the Cleveland Cavaliers:  “Win a ring for the king.”

“Forget Lebron!” Shaq said.  “It’s free whoppers for life, yo!”

Recently Shaquille O’neal, our favorite Irishman, held a press conference to announce his arrival to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  His entrance was to be a grand one, walking through an amazing display of affection from little kids he doesn’t know and can’t understand.  Towards the end of the entrance, Shaq made eye contact with a grown man.  Being mentally thrown by this, Shaq reverted back to his days of catching child predators.  Doing as much as he used to when he was on the force, Shaq gave him a look that could stun any man under seven foot…and then broke his hand.  The grown man has since issued a statement saying he will not press charges if Shaq will record a new rap song for him and urges him to wear his costume from Kazaam while on the bench.

Remember, like a month ago when Lebron “No, I Ain’t Shaking Your Damn Hand” James carried a team of misfits on his back all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals?  Well, the load to carry just got a little heavier.  Make that 400 pounds heavier (ahem, when he’s dieting).

Welcome: Shaquille O’Neal to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Is it the Big Aristotle or the old, should have retired four years ago Aristotle?  One can never be sure.

Yes, Cleveland may not be getting the player he once was, but let’s not forget Shaq is still… Read More