Following the news that negative signs were no longer permitted by Redskins brass, Dan Snyder has announced that fans will be banned from attending Redskins games in the future.

“I’m stunned,” says longtime ticketholder Herb Mankowicz of Vienna, VA. “I always thought the team liked having people in the stands.”

“I don’t think I’m getting a rebate on my tickets,” says Tom Jackson of Northeast DC. “I mean, I paid for them and then was told to never show up…and then they thanked me again for the tickets.”

“This is my ball and you can’t play with my ball,” Snyder bellowed at a press conference. He then took the podium and huffed off the podium.

There’s a rumor that players will soon be banned, which should have quite an effect on the gameplan for the Falcons in Week 9.