CELEBRITY
GAMING
MOVIESI support paying Eli Manning like he’s some soccer star because hey, he won THE Superbowl Championship of all Superbowl Championships. Do you remember how undefeated those Patriots were? 
New England Patriots – July 26 (rookies) July 29 (veterans)
What They’re Saying: We won eleven games with Matt Effing Cassel. How do you think we’re going to be with Tom Brady?
Wish They Would Say: We are going to run up every score like we’re Steve Spurrier against Rice. At Rice.
The Coach: Regardless of whether he cheated, Belichick is the best X’s and O’s gameplanning coach of all time. He could roll out an HVAC unit at the QB spot and still content for a wild card (although Danny Wuerrfel would still be a tall order). As long as he’s coaching that team, the Pats should always have double digit wins.
Best Case Scenario: Uh… 19-0? They add Michael Vick as a utility guy and never stop scoring.
Worst Case Scenario: Tom Brady’s knee gives out and Kevin O’Connell can’t handle the pressure. Increased competition in the division makes the Pats mortal. Disaster season. They go 10-6.
The Los Angeles Lakers recently won the NBA Championship and were instantly proclaimed the World Champions. What? Excuse me? The NBA is made up of 29 American teams, and one Canadian team, the Toronto Raptors. And winning this apparently makes someone the champion of the entire world? You know, I once won a ping-pong tournament that had an Estonian kid in it. Does that make me the supreme table tennis victor of the whole universe?
This quandary does not only exist in the NBA. The MLB contains only one Canadian team, the Toronto Blue Jays, and yet their championship is the World Series. World? Really? Really? Considering that Japan has twice won the World Baseball Classic, and our some of our leagues best are Latin Americans, Philadelphia Phillies may not be the best in the entire world. They might not even be the best in Philadelphia.
And then there’s the NFL … well, okay this is legit. We here in America have the only real football teams – not including that “football” crap they play in the World Cup. However, back when there was an NFL Europa, I really would have wanted to see the New England Patriots compete against the Hamburg Sea Devils. But now that NFL Europa is finished, I guess I’m okay with calling the Superbowl winner the world champion.
But L.A. Lakers, you haven’t earned it yet. So congratulations on your national championship. I would even go as far as calling you Can-American Champions. But Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, please don’t be presumptuous and call yourselves the World Champions until you’ve played Dimitris Diamantidis and the Panathinaikos Basketball Club.
The Denver Broncos have made their “Franchise Quarterback” (a label that has lost all meaning entirely), Jay Cutler, available for trade.
If your head is still spinning from all of the NFL Free Agency craziness that has happened so far, hold on. There’s still a lot more shuffling around to come.
