Celebrate Good Championships All Off-season! Do-do-do-do do do do do!

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Cornerback Antonio Cromartie of the San Diego Chargers was fined $2,500 eariler this week after sending out a message on Twitter criticizing the food served at the Chargers’ training camp.  The tweet “heard ’round the league” implied that if the Chargers did not have to eat the same nasty food for four straight years, they might have made it to a Superbowl by now.

Many see this as a harmless joke, but Norv Turner does not want any team matters being discussed online.  Also, Turner is seeing if he can fine his players enough money to buy himself a boat.  The San Diego Chargers are now enforcing a zero tolerance policy on complaining during training camp.  Any player who is not overjoyed about their camp experience is liable to receive a fine.  This executive decision has already affected the wallets of many of the Chargers’ top contributors.

Quentin Jammer was fined $2,500 for saying his room was cramped.

Shaun Merriman was fined $2,500 for saying the bathroom smelled.

Philip Rivers was fined $2,000 for saying one of the practice balls was flat. Read More

Americans across the world were brought to the edge of their seats as they witnessed the biggest sporting event of the year: Barcelona wins the Champions League of Europe!

“What is that, soccer?” says die-hard fan Cody Rae of Pittsburgh, PA.

They can barely contain their enthusiasm!

“Seriously, I’ve never heard of that,” exclaims a jubilant Harold Sheinman of Brooklyn, NY. “I’ve heard of Man U…that Spice Girl’s wife played for them, right?”

The game itself will live in infamy in the United States. Barcelona squared off on a field against powerhouse Man U. A player scored for Barcelona with a deft kick/header/otherwise legal soccer move, and then did it again. Defense was presumably played for the rest of the game.

“Defense wins championships,” says Patriots coach Bill Belichick out of context.

Soccer is the game of the future, a cutting-edge, Euro-cool game where nothing happens for an hour and a half. But with epic battles like the one played today, soccer will soon be the biggest ticket in the United States. Especially if it’s played in souped up Fords and without a ball or goal.