In a shocking revelation about Lebron James’ past drug use, it appears as though he smoked marijuana repeatedly throughout his junior year of high school.  Never again after that, though.  Especially not when he made millions upon millions of dollars…right.  Is it really surprising that Lebron James smoked (smokes, for people that believe) weed?  Not even the well manicured analysts at ESPN were surprised. 

One on-air personality went on to say, “does it really matter?  It’s kind of like, who cares?”  Indeed, who cares.  Several million respectable Americans smoke weed everyday.  Michael Phelps was revealed as one of these people not so long ago if you do remember.  It was a huge scandle, lost tons of money, people freaked out, and he got his bong taken away.  Why is it that when Michael Phelps smokes pot, its horrible, but if Lebron James smokes pot, its not too shabby.

One could argue the media is telling white kids to not smoke pot by demoralizing their role model, and that they’re telling black kids that it’s alright to smoke pot, as long as you can make a lot of money while doing it.

Footage of Cleveland superstar LeBron James being dunked on by a college player from Xavier has just been leaked onto the internet.  This is the footage that you were never supposed to see.  Visuals too shocking for the public to handle.  A video so gruesome that the CIA tried to hide it in their secret warehouse.  Evidence in direct opposition to The King’s superiority over us all.

Well, not really.

The infamous play where LeBron gets dunked on is not that amazing.  There are two version of the video, one from tmz.com and one from ebaumnation.com.  The tmz.com version makes it look a little bit worse than the ebaumnation one, but neither are Earth shattering and here’s why:

1. LeBron is not one on one with Jordan Crawford.  If LeBron was on Crawford from the moment the ball was in his hands, then it would have been a more impressive drive to the hoop.

2. LeBron came entered the play late.  He may have been tired or just doing your typical “this is my camp, I’m just going to half ass it” thing, but was really just standing around on the block as the play began.  He didn’t have enough time to really contest Crawford as he came off of the pick.

3. LeBron is not head on with Jordan Crawford.  Crawford more or less dunks over the side of him.  It is far from an in your face, humiliation, complete ownage dunk.

If you don’t want to take my word for it, go ahead and look up the video for yourself.  If anything, you will get a little bit of that forbidden video satisfaction we all love (case in point, Erin Andrews).

Recently Shaquille O’neal, our favorite Irishman, held a press conference to announce his arrival to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  His entrance was to be a grand one, walking through an amazing display of affection from little kids he doesn’t know and can’t understand.  Towards the end of the entrance, Shaq made eye contact with a grown man.  Being mentally thrown by this, Shaq reverted back to his days of catching child predators.  Doing as much as he used to when he was on the force, Shaq gave him a look that could stun any man under seven foot…and then broke his hand.  The grown man has since issued a statement saying he will not press charges if Shaq will record a new rap song for him and urges him to wear his costume from Kazaam while on the bench.

I am Kobe Bryant. I just won my fourth NBA championship this past Sunday on ABC. I’m sure you watched. As you know, I am great.

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The owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert, vows that the franchise will win an NBA title.  This reminds me of the time I went to the carnival and vowed that I would win the ring toss.  Good luck, Dan Gilbert: it’s going to take a lot of money and chances are it’s all rigged.

The sports media was so quick to criticize LeBron James for not giving them their Lakers vs. Cavaliers, Kobe vs. Lebron wet dream NBA Finals match up.  Oh, LeBron has no sportsmanship, he just walked off the court after losing to Orlando in game 6.  Oh, he’s such an assh*le because he didn’t do the post game interview.  Did it ever occur to you that maybe King James was dealing with some stuff of his own?  Did it ever once cross your mind that maybe the man’s health wasn’t in perfect condition?

Well it turns out, bastard sports journalists, that Lebron had been playing for several months with a growth inside his mouth.  On Tuesday, he underwent a five hour procedure on his parotid gland and he is now recovering.  I personally am not a doctor (yet), but if what I have read in medical journals is correct, the mouth is used quite frequently when answering questions at a post game interview. Read More