Lucky 7! The New Jersey Nets won their 7th game of the season on Saturday night against the also terrible New York Knicks. With a still worst NBA record of 7-55, the Nets actually have a winning streak going, having victories in their last three road games.

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In international hoops news, a brawl erupted on the court Canada’s men’s national team took on Italy in what was supposed to be a “friendly” exhibition match in preparation for the FIBA Americas Championship.

Americans are shocked and displeased by the incident, mostly because none of them have ever heard of the FIBA Americas Championship or basketball being played outside of the continental US.  However, one man is absolutely furious about it:  Ron Artest is steaming about the blatant amatuerism displayed during the fight. Here’s a statement given to the AP and a guy who sells Affliction shirts:

I am deeply saddened by the current state of in-game fighting within the basketball community.  A pattern has emerged where scrapping has greatly decreased and holding back fighters has greatly increased.  This so called “brawl” was very sparse as far as ass kicking goes. Read More

Footage of Cleveland superstar LeBron James being dunked on by a college player from Xavier has just been leaked onto the internet.  This is the footage that you were never supposed to see.  Visuals too shocking for the public to handle.  A video so gruesome that the CIA tried to hide it in their secret warehouse.  Evidence in direct opposition to The King’s superiority over us all.

Well, not really.

The infamous play where LeBron gets dunked on is not that amazing.  There are two version of the video, one from tmz.com and one from ebaumnation.com.  The tmz.com version makes it look a little bit worse than the ebaumnation one, but neither are Earth shattering and here’s why:

1. LeBron is not one on one with Jordan Crawford.  If LeBron was on Crawford from the moment the ball was in his hands, then it would have been a more impressive drive to the hoop.

2. LeBron came entered the play late.  He may have been tired or just doing your typical “this is my camp, I’m just going to half ass it” thing, but was really just standing around on the block as the play began.  He didn’t have enough time to really contest Crawford as he came off of the pick.

3. LeBron is not head on with Jordan Crawford.  Crawford more or less dunks over the side of him.  It is far from an in your face, humiliation, complete ownage dunk.

If you don’t want to take my word for it, go ahead and look up the video for yourself.  If anything, you will get a little bit of that forbidden video satisfaction we all love (case in point, Erin Andrews).

On the heels of Tom Watson’s remarkable runner-up finish at the British Open this past weekend at the ripe old age of 59, “Pistol” Pete Maravich has decided to come out of retirement to try and rejoin an NBA team.

Maravich, the LSU legend and all-time leading NCAA Division I scorer, will turn 63 next January.   If successful, he would become the oldest player ever to play in the NBA by nearly 20 years.

During his previous playing days, Maravich was named to the All-NBA First Team twice and led the league in scoring during the 1976-77 season.  He was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1987 and is often credited with making it cool to be white again.  A leg injury during the 1977-78 season started his downward spiral into alcoholism and ultimately signaled the end of his playing career.  That is, until now.

There’s no word yet on whether any NBA teams will be interested in Maravich’s services this fall.   But, he continues to train for the historical opportunity nevertheless.

Oh, what?  Wait a second.  Pete Maravich is dead?  Oops…

It has been announced that Houston Rockets guard Tracy McGrady will be changing his number from 1 to 3.  When asked why, he said it was a move to reflect his status in the league.

“For a while there, I was the best player in the league.  I was the man, everybody knew it, I was number 1.  Unfortunately, that’s not the case any longer, but I’m still pretty damn good.  So now I’m number 3.  If you can’t tell, I am a very tough critic when it comes to my play.  Hopefully Yao Ming is back in time for next season.  If not, my number may be going up to something like 15.”

McGrady made it clear that the switch has nothing to do whatsoever with any sort of charity work he has been doing. Read More

Ron Artest is coming to Los Angeles, but it doesn’t seem like the Lakers are the only ones who are looking to pick up some muscle.  Local gangs have expressed some extreme interest in the small forward (who towers over the majority of gangbangers at six foot, eight inches).  The two largest, the Crips and the Bloods, are gaining widespread media attention (right now) over these proposed plans.

Speculation from Artest fans as to why this is happening have ranged from his rumored ties with charities that have the capability to transport large amount of product, to his pleasantly shocking outbursts towards fans and players alike.

One fan has stated, “I’ve seen him bonk four, five….even fiddy grown men on the head in one quarter.  It’s no wonder both the Crips and the Bloods keep on truckin’ towards him.”  It really isn’t a wonder, is it.

The Bloods have issued a statement offering Artest quite the hefty membership benefits including round the clock protection from all the other scary large men in his profession, his vintage Bulls jersey would be the gang mandatory decor, and when needed he has access to a small, yet cozy apartment in a not so good part of town.  Just like home.

The Crips are yet to issue any official statement but there are rumblings.  Oh yes, there are rumblings.  I don’t know what they’re saying or what their strategy is, but I do happen to think they may be a better fit for Artest.  They are both very cultured, taking part in our generations favorite art form, rap.  Also of note, both the Crips and Artest use mass amounts of symbolism in their business.  Poetic as hell.

I just hope that Artest at least continues his magnificent performance on the court and his wonderful sportsmanship in general.

Ron Artest has not acknowledged this subject and has not issued any statement regarding it.  Yet.

Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard fold up like rusty old lawn chairs whenever they need to make a clutch free throw, Mike Vick pops a boner whenever he hears the words dog fight and Yao Ming is injured again.  So, what else is new?

The Houston Rockets already acknowledged Yao’s recovery from a broken foot was behind schedule, but now it turns out that setback might cost him even more time than was first expected.

“At this point, the injury has the potential for him to miss this next season and could be career threatening,” team physician Tom Clanton said, according to the Houston Chronicle.

Clanton then vehemently denied the accusation that Yao’s bones were more susceptible to injury due to a rare condition often referred to as being really f*cking tall.

“There is no proof this has anything to due with tallness.” Clanton said.  “Tallness is not even a real disease!”

Hmm… perhaps, just accepting the problem is the first step to recovery because suddenly, Greg Oden looks durable in comparison.

Meanwhile, the Rockets without Yao are how you say f*cked in Chinese?

“Get our coach on the phone!”  Rockets general manager Daryl Morey screamed.  “Who’s our coach?  Ron Jeremy’s brother?  Oh, we fired him last year?  Well, get whoever it is on the phone!!!”

Yao, who last season averaged 19.7 points and 9.9 rebounds per game, is due to make over $16 million next season with a player option for 2010-11 that would pay him over $17 million.  Yao played in 77 games during the 2008-09 campaign before injuring the same troublesome foot in Game 3 of their playoff series against the Lakers.

“There’s a billion people in that country,” Morey said.  “We get the one guy that has bones as brittle as Dick Clark!”

Remember, like a month ago when Lebron “No, I Ain’t Shaking Your Damn Hand” James carried a team of misfits on his back all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals?  Well, the load to carry just got a little heavier.  Make that 400 pounds heavier (ahem, when he’s dieting).

Welcome: Shaquille O’Neal to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Is it the Big Aristotle or the old, should have retired four years ago Aristotle?  One can never be sure.

Yes, Cleveland may not be getting the player he once was, but let’s not forget Shaq is still… Read More

How does an expected number one pick prepare for life in the NBA?  By partying it up and impregnating some b*tches, of course.

A pop blood test confirmed Tuesday morning: former Oklahoma superstar Blake Griffin will soon be the proud baby daddy of three separate children from three separate mothers.  And according to Griffin, he couldn’t be happier.

“Look, man, this is the NBA, this ain’t community college.  I be ballin’.  B*tches be swarming.  Sure, there’s going to be the occasional orgy, the occasional pregnancy,” Griffin said.  “But, that’s why I make the big bucks.”

When asked if his recent behavior had anything to do with possibly being drafted by the Clippers, Griffin simply smiled and said, “Well, it’s not like I’m going to have practice.  Sh*t, I’d be a better player than any of those fools with my left hand tied behind my back.”

Perhaps, Griffin’s hand isn’t the only thing that needs to be tied behind his back.

The Los Angeles Lakers recently won the NBA Championship and were instantly proclaimed the World Champions. What? Excuse me? The NBA is made up of 29 American teams, and one Canadian team, the Toronto Raptors. And winning this apparently makes someone the champion of the entire world? You know, I once won a ping-pong tournament that had an Estonian kid in it. Does that make me the supreme table tennis victor of the whole universe?

This quandary does not only exist in the NBA. The MLB contains only one Canadian team, the Toronto Blue Jays, and yet their championship is the World Series. World? Really? Really? Considering that Japan has twice won the World Baseball Classic, and our some of our leagues best are Latin Americans, Philadelphia Phillies may not be the best in the entire world. They might not even be the best in Philadelphia.

And then there’s the NFL … well, okay this is legit. We here in America have the only real football teams – not including that “football” crap they play in the World Cup. However, back when there was an NFL Europa, I really would have wanted to see the New England Patriots compete against the Hamburg Sea Devils. But now that NFL Europa is finished, I guess I’m okay with calling the Superbowl winner the world champion.

But L.A. Lakers, you haven’t earned it yet. So congratulations on your national championship. I would even go as far as calling you Can-American Champions. But Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, please don’t be presumptuous and call yourselves the World Champions until you’ve played Dimitris Diamantidis and the Panathinaikos Basketball Club.