Captain Yankee Hater America, also known as ESPN’s Skip Bayless, had some nerve polluting the show First and Ten with ridiculous comments completely undermining last night’s New York Yankee ALCS game four victory.

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Despite his all-star status and multiple MVPs, wrinkle-lover and New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez was seen sharing an intimate dinner with Please Lookatme Frankel, one of the “Real Housewives of New York,” in Miami on Friday.

A-Rod, your vision may be hazy through your recent tears of woe, but did you SEE the monstrosity that was your dinner date? Sure, she looked good for 39, if leathery skin and the boniest jowls since Mick Jagger are your definition of “good.”

We understand your perception of age is a bit skewed after your tumultuous “affair of the heart” with The Material Girl herself. But since an affair of the heart implies no physical contact, we feel it’s only fair to warn you that if you put the moves on Ms. Stretchy-Skin Frankel, you should keep an eye out for straying facial pieces and collagen leakage.

Hooker history and juiced-up past be damned, A-Rod, you’re still one of the hottest players in baseball with more money than several small countries. YOU CAN DO BETTER, we promise. She’s a so-called “celebrity chef” with a new cookbook coming out, aptly titled something along the lines of “Cigarettes and Surgery: Everyone Can Be Skinny Like Me.” And to top it off, she’s not even married, which in my book would be an immediate disqualifier from a show about “Real HOUSEWIVES.”

Get well soon, A-Rod, and by “well” we mean “interested in saving your spiraling career instead of chasing older women.”