The 2009 New York Yankees are World Champions!  Alex Rodriguez (seen above making out with himself) wins his first Championship Ring despite being an admitted steroid user.  Much like any big, evil corporation in so many movies, the Yankees use the greenback to get to the top.  The Phillies were a noble, scrappy underdog filled with likable guys like Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins and Raul Ibanez.  The heart and face of the Yankees* dated Madonna and is a cheater.  Most of the time, the good guys triumph (2003 Marlins over Yankees, 2001 Diamondbacks over Yankees, 81 Dodges over Yankees).  But this is one of those rare times when history or pop culture allows the bad guy come out on top, but here are some of the greatest examples:

10. The Guys Who Brought You Scary Movie, Date Movie and Disaster Movie over Good Enertainment

Spy Hard. Date Movie.  Epic Movie. Disaster Movie.  Meet the Spartans.

Avarage imdb.com rating of those films: 2.7

From imdb: They’ve also written and sold several other spoof comedy scripts, such as; “Raunchy Movie” and “Remembering the Titans On Any Given Sunday Gives Me The Varsity Blues”.

Those guys are millionaires and “Firefly” only got 1 season.  There is no God.

9. The Little League Yankees over the Bad News Bears

They were the ultimate underdogs.  A team made up of kids who weren’t good enough to make other rosters.  They were coached by a drunk, ex-major league pitcher.  They had no talent and were poorly coached.  After several embarrassing losses and adding a few ringers, they climbed out of the gutter and up to the championship against the Evil, Evil, Evil Yankees.

In the championship game, the Yankees tried to bean the Bears, they get in fights and generally play dirty.  The evil porn ’stache sportin’ manager of the Yankees even goes as far as smacking the shit out of his kid on the pitching mound in the middle of the game.  Meanwhile, Walter Matthau learns the true spirit of Christmasbaseball and puts in his scrubs so they have a chance to play because its not about winning.

They keep it close.  Kelly leak then hits a deep shot to right field.  the bases clear.  Kelly Leak slides in to home to tie the game at 7.

But he’s out.

The child abuser and evil Yankees take the big trophy.  They’re still dickwads, though.

(Rest after the break)…

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As we all have heard at least 4,399 times by now, Yankees star Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids six years ago. In less time than it takes to finish reading the article, “A-Fraud” and “A-Roid” shirts were already for sale all over the internet. Cries of shock and horror echoed through the land from fans of the highest paid player in baseball, to those who live to despise him. The steroid stamp has been printed on A-Rod. Now let the public outrage unleash by letting this discussion push you through your end of football season blues.

But I say “of course.” All the baseball players in this era do steroids. It is the steroid era in baseball. How is everyone shocked every time a new player is revealed to have cheated when it is clear that they all do it? At some point or another, some more than others, some using steroids, some using crafty varieties of the same concept, all of the major league baseball players have used performance enhancing drugs. The issue truly is that clear. I know it still breaks many hearts: you can see some fans look like little leaguers in their eyes filled with disappointment for the sanctity of the game, but they all do it. Baseball players at this level live for the competition and use to try to get ahead or to keep up. Don’t pretend your favorite player is the exception. They all have done it at one point or another. Read More