In an experiment for Sports Science, three-time major winning golfer Padraig Harrington recently attempted the Happy Gilmore swing – wherein one runs and slap shots the golf ball. Harrington was amazed when the swing added an extra 30 yards to his drive.

Sure, the swing is a breach of classic golf etiquette, inaccurate, and potentially dangerous to the spine. But this momentous outcome has the sports world excited. What other movies hold golden opportunities for the real world of sports?

The Flying V – The Mighty Ducks

I suggest the Anaheim Ducks drop behind the net, move into formation, and start the play that conquered not only the Hawks, but also Team Iceland. Too bad the move is totally illegal. The players in front of the V are using interference, and the move is absolutely off sides.

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Sports movies are their own genre. Most are dramas and comedies, due to the intensity of the games and rife possibilities of someone getting kicked in the groin. Then you have the occasional action flick (The Last Boy Scout) and chick flick (Jerry McGuire. Yes it is). Horror films are rare, unless you want to count Tom Selleck’s Mr. Baseball. “Okay, so we get Magnum PI to be a DH in Japan! Huge merchandising! Who doesn’t want a mustachioed bobblehead action figure?!?”

What these films all have in common (and Rookie of the Year was a FILM, not a movie) is that they attempt to imitate unpredictable life. The outcome of games aren’t written, and these are. So how do you line them up?

You wait for the inevitable moment when life imitates art (and yes, D3 was ART!).

Here are the Top Five Sports Movies Come True!!

5. MAJOR LEAGUE 2. Counterculture closer Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Chaz Sheen) shaves, gets a Gordon Gecko mullet, and sells out in every way imaginable. At the end of the film, he returns to his nasty roots to cut down Quisling slugger Jack Parkman with 102 mph gas.

IRL: Jason Giambi, who looked like former pro wrestler Mankind after spending two weeks living in the stockroom of a Ross Dress for Less, shaves and trims himself to don Yankee Pinstripes in 2002. Read More

Hollywood is raking in the money as out-of-work citizens attempt to drown their sorrows in popcorn and cotton candy. Using, “He’s Just Not that Into You” and “Friday the 13^th” to forget their woes, Americans are cutting travel, dining and theater out of their budgets, but leaving space for cinema. Movie theatre gross was up 10% last month alone. Studio executives are confident that history will repeat itself. During the Great Depression, when more than one fourth of the country was out of work, Americans still made it a priority to see the latest motion picture.

With tickets to major league baseball game tickets quickly climbing out of reach for the average Joe Six-Pack (let’s not forget about him), what Hollywood should bring to an audience is a good baseball movie.

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The AFI released their list of Top Ten Sports Movies of All Time. Here’s what we got:

1. Raging Bull - Couldn’t agree more. Probably the most underrated movie of all time because it’s a Scorcese movie with De Niro that isn’t Taxi Driver or Goodfellas.

2. Rocky - You knew that. Who loves underdogs? Fat people from Philly.

3. Pride of the Yankees - Eh. Gets a free pass because the actual Gehrig story is so interesting. A documentary would have been twice as good.

4. Hoosiers - Yeah, this is good. Dennis Hopper in a great pre-Speed, post-I’ll-Smoke-The-Ashes-of-Xerxes role.

5. Bull Durham - Really good. A lot better than it should be. Plus, it thought it was successful because of Kevin Costner, when it was actually the Tim Robbins show. We were thanked with The Postman.

6. The Hustler - I actually don’t like this one. Paul Newman is awesome, and yeah the Color of Money Oscar was for this. But it was a hell of a bummer from beginning to end. Like Leaving Las Vegas with an eight ball.

7. Caddyshack - Yep.

8. Breaking Away - Underrated movie that few people have seen. Go do it.

9. National Velvet - Horses. They shoot horses, don’t they? Well, this one runs around with Elizabeth Taylor on top of it. Yes, it’s an it. Horses aren’t people. Your horse isn’t smarter than my honor student.

10. Jerry Mcguire - An abomination. Horrible, terrible movie. Cuba Gooding Jr should return his Oscar for proving during his acceptance speech that he wasn’t acting at all. The LAV-mics are way too hot in this movie; listen as Tom Cruise and Renee "Clint Eastwood" Zelwegger swish around their own saliva in between lines. Everyone who likes this movie, please do this: watch it again, and every time you think Cruise is likeable, remember that he thinks he can fly if he reaches OT level 10.

Arizona Diamondbacks rookie Max Scherzer had a superheroic MLB debut, striking out seven batters in 4.1 perfect innings of releif.

But what gets me about Scherzer is his two different colored eyes- a condition called heterochromia.

The name Max Scherzer doesn’t scream BASEBALL PLAYER, but it does suggest nerdy doctor or something of the sort. So I can only envision Max Scherzer being a nerdy doctor, who discovers some medicine and he turns into a superhero hurler with two different colored irises and the name "Heterochromia."

Tell me you wouldn’t read that comic book featuring that guy above and that ridiculous story I just suggested. And watch "Heterochromia" in his first game as a starter, Monday against the Phillies.

In a stunning move late Wednesday the 23rd of April the International Olympic Committee recommended a new and revolutionary steroid testing procedure.  Instructional video available below…

The Birdman is back. Reinstated by the NBA, all the antics of the NBA’s favorite high flying white drug user are back. Who could forget the time he missed eight dunks in the dunk contest before he could get one to go down?
Rather than reinstating him back into the NBA, Anderson should have been forced to participate in SemiPro. I mean if anyone is perfect for the ABA, it’s the Birdman and if anything could have made that movie not suck….well nothing could have made that movie not suck (this according to sources who saw the movie.) I had enough just from the commercials.

This picture is of Ron Lester, the guy who played the morbidly obese Billy Bob in "Chick Flick With One Nude Scene So Dudes Were Suckered Into Seeing It" Varsity Blues. And if you think this is crazy, check out this picture of the guy who played Lattimer in The Program.