Ricky Rubio, drafted fifth in this year’s NBA draft, has opted not to go to Minneapolis and instead stay in Spain to do his balling. I can’t imagine why.

Exhibit M…

Exhibit S…

Recently Shaquille O’neal, our favorite Irishman, held a press conference to announce his arrival to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  His entrance was to be a grand one, walking through an amazing display of affection from little kids he doesn’t know and can’t understand.  Towards the end of the entrance, Shaq made eye contact with a grown man.  Being mentally thrown by this, Shaq reverted back to his days of catching child predators.  Doing as much as he used to when he was on the force, Shaq gave him a look that could stun any man under seven foot…and then broke his hand.  The grown man has since issued a statement saying he will not press charges if Shaq will record a new rap song for him and urges him to wear his costume from Kazaam while on the bench.

On Tuesday night, with absolutely no fanfare, the Los Angeles Clippers won the top pick at the NBA’s draft lottery . Everyone is speculating that the Clippers will pick up Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin with its coveted pick, but the only thing more boring than the words “Clippers”, “Oklahoma”, and “NBA draft” is Blake Griffin saying them. However, I did get to thinking after reading about this. Yes, I have been known to ponder life’s mysteries while shotgunning cans of Schlitz High Gravity .

Since the Clippers must realize that they are, you know, the Clippers, maybe they could put their money in something other than an overpriced rookie. The options are infinite, but I have reached into infinity and pulled out the best options for the Clippers. Take a look, won’t you?

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Straight to the Point:

1st rounders averaged 16.04 points in their final year before turning pro. The group had a high of 26.2 ppg, and a low of 5 ppg.

2nd rounders averaged 13.58 points in their final year before turning pro. The group had a high of 20.3 ppg, and a low of 6.1 ppg.

It only gets better, after the break Read More

The Pac-10 had the most picks of any conference in the first round with seven selections equalling 23.33% of the first round.

The two teams with the most number one overall draft picks in NBA history are the Houston Rockets and Sacramento Kings with five top picks a piece.

Every year the trade rumors heat up as draft day approaches, and this year is no exception.  The latest rumor has the Golden State Warriors sending Baron Davis and Al Harrington to the Detroit Pistons for Rasheed Wallace and Chauncey Billups.

Apparently after drafting and developing a group of big guys the Warriors are looking to trade away their franchise player to add another big body.  Rasheed’s biggest talent is running his mouth, making a conflict with Don Nelson inevitable.  Any trade that brings in another point guard would hamper the development of Monta Ellis, whom the Warriors are looking at as the point guard of the future.  Besides, there is no beard more feared, no shoulder more powerful, than that of the great Baron Davis.

From the Pistons side of the equation they are getting one of the best floor general’s playing basketball in the form of Baron Davis.  Al Harrington was planted at the three point line most of the season, and has range similar to that of ‘Sheed.  But they will lose a lot of strength down on the post, and lost revenue from the ads they planned to tattoo onto ‘Sheed’s forehead.  At least the team will cut down on prozac expenses if they send him packing to the west coast (though the Warriors might need to stock up on medicinal herbs).

Weigh in on this trade rumor! ‘Sheed commands you!

14 schools share the honor of having the most number one overall draft picks in NBA draft history with two apiece. The top talent producers are Cincinnati, Duke, Duquesne, Georgetown, Houston, Indiana, Kansas State, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Purdue, UCLA, Utah, and West Virginia.

The NFL draft is a distant memory, the MLB draft now a piece of recent history. The NHL draft kicks off its two days of picks today, and the highly anticipated NBA draft is less than a week away. The drafts for the big four sports have their individual strengths and weaknesses, but above all they can be judged on their fan friendliness.

NBA
The NBA draft is unparalleled in terms of player recognition and speed. NBA teams have the smallest roster of any of the four major sports, so the draft is limited to a speedy two rounds. The talent in the NBA draft gets the most exposure as the best players usually come from the best schools which regularly get their games nationally televised and always participate in the NCAA Tournament. The low number of top international prospects makes it easier for fans to become acquainted with them. Starting with the draft lottery the hype continues to build up to, and through, the draft easily distinguishing it as the best draft of the bunch.

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1. NBA players flopping. Finally the NBA is taking a stand and fining floppers, the only people to spend more time on their backs than porn stars. Solution? Prescriptions for Viagra (or Cialis if they want to decide when the moment is right) should harden up the biggest floppers, or just have Erin Andrews interview them.

2. Steroid and PED witch hunt in MLB. What if MLB officials decided to tinker with the baseball to make it another dead ball era? People would start throwing accusations that pitchers were finding new ways to doctor the ball. Solution? What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room, if eunuchs turn out to be better players then it is their choice to make.

Read the rest of the list after the break. Read More