Kansas football coach Mark Mangino, who was only two seasons ago drenched in Gatorade, is under fire for being verbally and physically abusive to his players. Highlights include telling a receiver, fresh off of dropping a pass, that he was going to “Send [him] back to St. Louis so [he could] get shot with [his] homies.” “Are you going to be an alcoholic like your Dad?” is another one. Awesome. He defended his actions saying that the parents are bitter that he’s doing the job they should have.

A few thoughts:

-Nearly every coach can be construed to be an a**hole. Every guy Mangino has ever coached has had a fat guy in a windbreaker yell things at them and make them run. And when THIS fat guy in THIS windbreaker stands out for being a jerk, it must go a lot further than even these guys are bringing up.

-If you’re going to be a racist, you might not want to target the largest majority of your players and recruits.

-This is Kansas Football. FOOTBALL. Not basketball. These players didn’t pick KU to win a title or play for the program or for you, Mangino. They came to KU to get good tickets at the final four.

-Most importantly, the number one trait of a good college football coach is recruiting. Pete Carroll and Mack Brown and Jim Tressel are always in the BCS picture because they can get the best players in the country. Save the Gym Teacher Who Thinks Dodgeball Is A Sport routine.

-Fat people are supposed to be jolly.

CAROLINA –3 over Miami

I officially don’t understand anything anymore. The Dolphins only seem to win in their division, and the Panthers are suddenly playing like NFC Champions again. I would be all over these free points, but Ronnie Brown being out erases 90% of the team’s offense. Carolina could be a wild card! Is anyone else maddened by this?!?

Indianapolis over BALTIMORE

This is a pick’em? Really? The secondary lets anyone with half a decent arm throw over their heads, the best pass rusher goes down from a Brady Quinn cheapshot, and they’re not getting points? I don’t understand anything. Peyton Manning didn’t get injured shooting a United Way ad, did he?

JACKSONVILLE –8.5 over Buffalo

The real line should be how many times the announcers screw up interim coach’s Perry Fewell. No, he wasn’t in the BBC’s latest rendition of Pride and Prejudice. He’s the coach of the Bills. Only way Buffalo wins this game is if they think it’ll help sell Shanny on the deal.

MINNESOTA –11 over Seattle

Cool, one of these big lines that could easily be covered. There are only five good teams in football (Saints, Colts, Pats, Bengals, and Vikings) and the Vikings are one of them. Could and should be a massacre. And wait, they EXTENDED Childress in Minnesota?!? Did anyone else get a flash of Crennel in 2007?

New Orleans –11 over TAMPA BAY

Goddamn it. The Saints are overlooking everyone and not covering anymore. But how in the HELL can I take a one-win Buc team over the best team in the league?!? I hate you, Las Vegas.

NY GIANTS –6.5 over Atlanta

I would take the Falcons eleven days of the week (here’s my Ditka impression) if the Giants weren’t coming off a bye and that wasn’t as reliable a trend as there was in this nutty NFL season. Read More

The Baseball Writers Association of America have awarded Zack Greinke, 26, and Tim Lincecum, 25, with the Cy Young awards for their respected leagues.

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This was a permanent decision. Looks like someone doesn’t have a lot of faith in the future of the Snyder Era.

This is the baddest man on Earth. It’s getting close to Who Would Win In A Fight, Tyson or Pacquiao, if they went to a common weight class. And if eating wasn’t aloud.

The Bills made the first splash in the executioner’s market, knocking off Dick Jauron after he fell to 3-6. The question remains….who’s next?

Here’s our best guess of the order.

1. Jim Zorn - Top of the list because it’s beyond inevitable. One win over the Broncos won’t save his job.

2. Todd Haley - His team hates him and has regressed in every way. One and done for Paxil-boy.

3. Tom Cable - He punches women and his team sucks. Not even Al Davis would keep him.

4. Eric Mangini - Only way he won’t get fired is if the town rises up and slays him.

5. Norv Turner - Too much talent on that roster to even question a playoff spot.

BRISTOL (AP) - Little Trey Huguley is an average guy.  He has an average job.  And like most average guys, he likes coming home after a long day of work on Monday to Monday Night Football.  This Monday was no different.  Trey settled into his La-Z-Boy recliner, popped open a beer and turned on the TV.

“What the @$#% is this?” Trey exclaimed when he saw what was on TV.  He checked his watch and his program guide.  It was the time and channel for Monday Night Football, but sadly there was no football on.

Only the Ravens vs. the Browns.

Trey proceeded to call up his local cable company.  After a long hold, Trey began to get antsy as it was coming up on time for the end of the first quarter and the last thing he wanted to do was miss some real football.  When the cable company representative came on, they mentioned that they were flooded with calls about the situation and they were looking into it.  They assured Trey that they had checked their connections and this was the proper ESPN feed.  The problem had to be on the ESPN end of things.

Rather than spend an evening without football, Trey spent the next hour on hold.  Finally he got through.

“Hi.  My name is Trey and I’m calling to ask why there’s not football on.  Its supposed to be time for Monday Night Football but when I turn it to ESPN all I see is…” But Trey is cut off.  He goes pale white and his jaw drops at their response.

“Sir… this IS Monday Night Football.” The representative informs Trey.  Trey turns to the TV.  It shows The Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens going in for half time with the score 0-0.  Trey begins to enter the seven stages of grief.  First denial.

“No.  No it isn’t.  You’re lying.  Switch it over to the real game!” Then the Pain and guilt.  Trey begins to shake.  Then comes the bargaining.

“Well… could you just replay the Pats-Colts game?  No?  Please?”  Trey hangs up the phone.  Then comes stage 4.  Loneliness.  Trey stares at the on screen program guide that reads Monday Night Football.  Trey clutches a pillow and tries to hold back the tears.

Now should come the upward turn.  Trey turns back on the TV.  On screen Cleveland blocks a Baltimore extra point.  Trey sobs and turns off the TV.  There will be no recovery tonight.  Trey is one of millions of fans who voiced their hurt and betrayal at ESPN for playing Baltimore vs. Cleveland in lieu of Monday Night Football.  One ESPN email server shut down after the wave of complaint emails hit.

ESPN Issued the Following Statement Tuesday Morning:

We here at ESPN constantly strive to bring you the highest level of sports entertainment.  The unfortunate events on Monday night that led to us broadcasting the Cleveland Browns versus Baltimore Ravens.  We are looking deep into our broadcast practices and standards to ensure that this never happens again.  Several things we are exploring:

• Contracting the Browns from the NFL
• Permanent ban of Brady Quin from television in general
• An Emergency override system that, at the push of a button, will switch the ESPN broadcast to something better than Browns-Ravens like Michael Jordan highlights, classic Super Bowl moments or even paint drying.
• Using Common Sense when Picking games for a National Broadcast

We offer our sincerest apologies and hope that you will continue to look to ESPN for your sports news and actions.

But that still doesn’t give Trey or the millions of other Americans their Monday night back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTxHuUGG_2c

They disabled embedding, for some ungodly reason. So follow the link and enjoy.

Considering the Giants had the day off, a lot went their way. Not only did the team not lose, but the Eagles and Cowboys did… which is always nice.

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Every NFL team has a distinct identity.  Some are hopelessly lost, some have always been prosperous, some are on crack.  The same could be said for the female Pop Stars of the World.  Let’s try to figure out which Pop Stars are which NFL Team if for nothing else, than for the ability to make fun of a team by comparing them to Kelly Clarkson.

Washington Redskins Britney Spears

Remember back in the 90’s when they were good? Everyone liked them.  Then they went crazy.  Someone keeps irrationally throwing a LOT of money into producing them believing that they are going to turn the corner and have a hit soon.  Any real genuine problems that have can be fixed with money and band-aids.  She can’t sing?  Just put that I am T-Pain synthesizer on her voice.  Can’t play defense?  Just throw all of the money you have at Haynesworth.

New England Patriots Beyonce Knowles

Everything they do seems to come out right.  They have all sorts of records.  They’ve totally owned this decade.  There may be accusations of Diva-ness, but have totally earned the right to act like they’re hot shit.

Indianapolis Colts Christina Aguilera

You always think “OK, this is the year they take a Britney like nosedive into obscurity or irrelevance”, but they never do.  They always keep coming back with hits/good seasons and despite the similar formula, always seems to have good success.  Somehow they avoided the dreaded young pop star curse/1st QB drafted curse to become really successful.  Remember how many people thought Britney would totally have a better career than Christina?  Remember how many people thought Ryan Leaf was so much better than Peyton Manning?  Stupid call.

Detroit Lions Celine Dion

I’m sorry to all of my Michigan/Detroit friends, but Lions football is the Celine Dion of the NFL.  Its just painful.  You can blame Matt Millen.  You can blame Titanic.  What ever.  I don’t care whose fault it is, I just don’t want to be around it.

(Read the rest of the 32 teams’ Pop Stars after the jump):

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