Remember when family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas had separate tables for adults and kids?  Apparently Tim Lincecum thought the same thing would happen at the All-Star press conference, and chose to dress appropriately.

This tribute to Tiger Woods (and surprisingly Kansas Jayhawks head football coach Mark Mangino) recalls the glory days when seeing Tiger in red meant another great Sunday round and probably a victory.  Props to the creator “LSUfreek.”  Freaky indeed…

Click here to see Tiger in action!

The other day I was standing in line at the drugstore, creeping away from some college athlete who smelled worse than Ricky Williams’ helmet, when I accidentally bumped into the big busted co-ed behind me (which gave me great joy).  But despite her close resemblance to Alison Stokke, I still felt tainted by my proximity to that smelly mongoloid.

Being the humanitarian that I am, I decided to help him out and I dropped some Irish Spring Body Wash into his basket, hoping he’d clean up his act… I doubt it.  Anways, it got me to thinking what other athletes are this dirty?

I’m talking about players whose careers are defined by the word “dirty.” Sure there are locker room stories about guys who just plain smell bad, but I was thinking about those players who don’t even know the word “gentleman” exists.  Here’s my list of 10 players who could most use a hit of Irish Spring.

.

Todd Bertuzzi – The NHL has dedicated a special zamboni to follow Todd Bertuzzi’s dirty streak.  Once in 2004 after Colorado Avalanche center Steve Moore took out one of his teammates, and sidelined him for three games, Bertuzzi decided to get even by ultimately ending Moore’s career.  Bertuzzi, miffed Moore wouldn’t engage in fisticuffs, grabs Moore’s jersey and punches him the back of the head, driving him to the ice, where the pair were dog piled by teammates.  Moore’s list of injuries reads like a medical textbook, three fractured vertebrae, a grade three concussion, vertebral ligament damage, stretching of the brachial plexus nerve, facial lacerations, and a bruised ego.  Moore hasn’t played in a game since, and Bertuzzi got served with criminal charges, a civil suit, and a lengthy suspension

Keep reading to see the rest of the list. Read More

Apparently at the University of Miami, the Hurricanes really know how to blow.  But you can’t blame them, after all, teammates are supposed to take care of each other.  Word has it they are developing a new tackling technique modeled on the new variety of of going low called “going down.”

This type of training has long been a staple in a variety of sports, as featured in the NES classic “Ring King.”

Maybe this Cal player should transfer in, it looks like he would be a good fit for the program.

Following the Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl 43 victory over the Arizona Cardinals, residents in the city’s Oakland area near the University of Pittsburgh celebrated by pouring into the streets:

Following the controversial shooting of a new year’s eve reveler, citizens of Oakland, California took to the streets and the rioting looked something like this (skip to 2:45):

So we’ll leave it to the Splog faithful to tell us, which Oakland knows how to riot better?

Now you too can celebrate the way the Pittsburgh Steelers are celebrating their franchise’s sixth Super Bowl victory, with the official cigar of Mike Ditka.

Tasting notes for these inspirational cigars include sweat, gatorade, and extensive notes of hair spray.  This cigar is well aged, with selected blends going back to 1985 in an attempt to avoid the dreaded Rex Grossman disease that has plagued Chicago products in recent memory.  With a strong aftertaste and long burn, it’s easy to understand why many people find these cigars harsh and overbearing. 

In another interesting note, the Pittsburgh Steelers have dedicated a new housing complex to Santonio Holmes for his MVP performance.  The community features homes are are small, but can be constructed incredibly fast.  No word if the units will be substance-free housing.

Another year, another BS, excuse me, BCS controversy. Some top teams play other top teams, but not for the right of being THE top team. Nope, that goes to the winner of the game between the two teams that might be a bit better than the rest of the pack.

That being said, one of the greatest accomplishments this bowl season has been exposing the Big 12 as a conference with all flash, little substance. That is why the Florida Gators will steamroll the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS National Championship Game, and extend the Sooners BCS losing streak to 5 games.

The Sportsterns final Top 5:

5) OKLAHOMA
4) TEXAS
3) FLORIDA
2) UTAH
1) USC

Need more reason? To quote President Elect Barack Obama:

“I think USC, which had a great Rose Bowl, beat Penn State pretty badly, they’ve got a pretty good claim to be No. 1.”

Enjoy the game Sploggers!

Check out that cross San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Singletary was rocking on the sideline last Sunday in the team’s 14-9 loss to the Miami Dolphins.

Best guess says its an attempt by Singletary to make up for pulling down his pants so the team could worship his false idol.

New rumors say Alex Smith’s reason for being on the disabled list has been changed to “spontaneous stigmata.”

ESPN named some great players to their Pac-10 all conference team.  They managed to spell Syd’Quan and Alterraun correctly, but somehow changed one of the nation’s best linebackers into a loaf of bread?  I don’t think he is a player that loafs around, though he has been known to give opponents a knuckle sandwich.

The last thing any editor would want is an angry Rey Maualuga showing up in his office.  He would be in quite the pickle if he couldn’t cut the mustard.

5 Things Guaranteed to Happen during the USC-Stanford Football Game:

1) In preparing to be the next 49ers head coach, Jim Harbaugh will pull down his pants at halftime revealing an impressive application of bronze paint.

2) Pete Carroll will put Traveller in the game at tailback and bring new meaning to the horse collar rule.

3) The halftime show will feature an enraged USC drum major slaughtering the entire Stanford marching band…and everyone will applaud.

4) Toby Gerhardt will redeem white running backs everywhere when he manages to score a touchdown and not embarrass himself with his celebration dance.

5) The Trojans defense will provide such hard hits that the entire Bay Area will duck and cover.