Earlier this week we posted the story of Penn State point guard Stanley Pringle, who was arrested on charges of lewd conduct for allegedly striking up conversations with women and then beginning to masturbate in front of them.

But even more interesting details are coming up in the case. Yesterday, Pringle admitted to sticking his hands down his pants while talking to the women, but denied masturbating. He went on to demonstrate to an officer of the law how he has a bad habit of sticking his hands down his pants at inoppurtune times.

If Pringle is telling the truth, some of us guys can sympathize. A man needs to fix himself every so often. Nothing hurts more than a misplaced nut when going about your daily business. Still, it is considered relatively poor etiquette, I would imagine. Plus, getting caught playing pocket hockey is among the most embarrassing things that can happen to a guy.

Anyway, is this the face of a criminal? Methinks not.

There’s been a manhunt going on at Penn State over the past couple of weeks. Penn State University Police have been searching far and wide for a serial public masturbator that strikes up random conversations with women in various locations around the campus.

According to the victims’ reports, the man is friendly — so friendly, in fact, that he feels comfortable enough to whip out his junk and start going to town in front of the young women he just met.

The case took an interesting twist yesterday, when Penn State point guard Stanley Pringle was arrested on the charges. The arrest even got Penn State’s squeaky-clean athletics department some great PR on PerezHilton.com. Congrats, guys!

If Pringle is guilty, at least this explains why PSU’s basketball team is so underwhelming each year. Really gives a new meaning to "playing one-on-one."

I am an unabashed Philadelphia Phillies fan, so opening day always brings immense joy followed by unbelievable pain. Today’s up-and-down loss to the Washington Nationals was no different.

But at least I got to be proven right amongst my circle of Phillie fan friends — as I often am when it comes to the front office’s often boneheaded decisions.

When the Phillies signed former Giants third baseman Pedro Feliz to a contract this offseason, it was lauded as a move that would give the Phils the pop they needed from third base and a fancy glove, to boot, supposedly replacing defensive wizard  Abraham Nunez with a guy who wasn’t a black hole in the lineup.

Immediately, I said the traditional thinking was wrong, and that Feliz was a terrible hitter despite his decently impressive power numbers. The numbers prove me pretty much right, at least, showing how overrated the home run is in baseball if the guy can’t do anything else. Feliz can’t take a walk, and makes more outs than pretty much everyone in the sport. In baseball, a hitter’s job is to not get out, and Feliz does that worse than almost every other player. It’s insane. I mean, in 2007, Feliz had a lower on-base percentage than Nunez, which is practically certifiably impossible for a guy that hit 20 dingers.

Today, Feliz’s stellar line: 0-4, GIDP, 2K, 3 men left on base

The guy is a jabroni. Plain and simple. Feliz is a guy that can single-handedly bring that word back into the limelight.

Rock, we miss you.

I can’t believe this. It’s a Thursday night, I just got done with a huge history test that I’m almost certain I bombed (which would eventually lead to other forms of ‘bombed’), and the Sweet 16 begins tonight.

However, I won’t be watching — at least part of the games. See, former president Bill Clinton will be speaking at Penn State tonight in our beloved former basketball arena, Rec Hall. Skipping out on basketball for a politician? It’s almost absurd for me to think about it, but I’m going to do it anyway. I don’t consider myself a member of either political party, and I certainly don’t consider myself a Hillary supporter, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance, I figure.

After all, this will certainly be the most interesting thing happening in a Penn State basketball arena since, well, since…

Since the Clinton administration, at least.

You know, I am so pleased with how awesomely today’s games in Tampa turned out — not just two upsets, but two buzzer-beater wins from Western Kentucky and San Diego, most certainly setting up Sunday’s marquee second-round matchup.

However, as an addendum to a post I made earlier this week, I was upset that Gus Johnson wasn’t calling these games. One-point thrillers aren’t the same without the play-by-play guy having an aneurysm.

Instead, Tim Brando gave us these stellar quips in the last few minutes of the San Diego-UConn contest:

"It’s not Carmen Sandiego!" - after San Diego takes a late lead in regulation

"If it’s not Johnson and Johnson, it’s Jackson!" - after San Diego guard De’Jon Jackson hit the game-winner

"San Diego makes #13 lucky in Tampa!" - commenting on San Diego’s seed after its win

They should have a private jet waiting to take Gus Johnson to any game within five points with five minutes left.

Anyway, impeccable matchup of mascots in Round Two, with the Hilltoppers taking on the Toreros.

Aah, the NCAA tournament begins in fewer than 12 hours, and I can barely contain myself. One thing I can guarantee, however, is that I’ll be quieter and more composed than CBS announcer Gus Johnson during the inevitable close games of the tournament.

Johnson is perhaps best known for his stunning performance during last year’s Xavier-Ohio State thriller.

Seriously, just having this guy in the booth makes any game 50 times more exciting, and I’m sure CBS knows that. Ergo, the network recently announced its broadcast pairings for the first round of the tournament, and they’ve tabbed Johnson with Len Elmore for the following contests Thursday in Denver, which conveniently include some potential upsets (all times Eastern):

South Region

(5) Michigan St. vs. (12) Temple - 12:20 p.m.

(4) Pittsburgh vs. (13) Oral Roberts - 3:00 p.m.

East Region

(4) Washington St. vs. (13) Winthrop - 7:20 p.m.

(5) Notre Dame vs. (12) George Mason - 9:40 p.m.

Keep your ears open. But a fair warning — if these games get within five points late, turn your volume down.

For more announcing combos, visit this post at Awful Announcing.

Terrelle Pryor’s commitment to "the University of Ohio State" today didn’t just upset Michigan fans: it left his home-state fans in Pennsylvania out to pasture also.

In fact, according to Pryor, pastures are the reason he chose Ohio State even after his father expressed pleasure for a late push from Joe Paterno’s Nittany Lions — including a rare home visit from the legendary coach himself.

"It’s a country type of thing and I just don’t like that," he told reporters from his high school in Jeannette, Pa.

A valid point. Only a move to Columbus could satisfy someone from the sprawling metropolis that is Jeannette — population 10,654 at the 2000 census.

But fear not, Nittany Lion fans. Even without Pryor, you can count on the PSU offensive coaching staff to make the wrong decision in the inevitable quarterback battle between Pat Devlin and Daryll Clark this spring and summer.