Kansas football coach Mark Mangino, who was only two seasons ago drenched in Gatorade, is under fire for being verbally and physically abusive to his players. Highlights include telling a receiver, fresh off of dropping a pass, that he was going to “Send [him] back to St. Louis so [he could] get shot with [his] homies.” “Are you going to be an alcoholic like your Dad?” is another one. Awesome. He defended his actions saying that the parents are bitter that he’s doing the job they should have.

A few thoughts:

-Nearly every coach can be construed to be an a**hole. Every guy Mangino has ever coached has had a fat guy in a windbreaker yell things at them and make them run. And when THIS fat guy in THIS windbreaker stands out for being a jerk, it must go a lot further than even these guys are bringing up.

-If you’re going to be a racist, you might not want to target the largest majority of your players and recruits.

-This is Kansas Football. FOOTBALL. Not basketball. These players didn’t pick KU to win a title or play for the program or for you, Mangino. They came to KU to get good tickets at the final four.

-Most importantly, the number one trait of a good college football coach is recruiting. Pete Carroll and Mack Brown and Jim Tressel are always in the BCS picture because they can get the best players in the country. Save the Gym Teacher Who Thinks Dodgeball Is A Sport routine.

-Fat people are supposed to be jolly.

CAROLINA –3 over Miami

I officially don’t understand anything anymore. The Dolphins only seem to win in their division, and the Panthers are suddenly playing like NFC Champions again. I would be all over these free points, but Ronnie Brown being out erases 90% of the team’s offense. Carolina could be a wild card! Is anyone else maddened by this?!?

Indianapolis over BALTIMORE

This is a pick’em? Really? The secondary lets anyone with half a decent arm throw over their heads, the best pass rusher goes down from a Brady Quinn cheapshot, and they’re not getting points? I don’t understand anything. Peyton Manning didn’t get injured shooting a United Way ad, did he?

JACKSONVILLE –8.5 over Buffalo

The real line should be how many times the announcers screw up interim coach’s Perry Fewell. No, he wasn’t in the BBC’s latest rendition of Pride and Prejudice. He’s the coach of the Bills. Only way Buffalo wins this game is if they think it’ll help sell Shanny on the deal.

MINNESOTA –11 over Seattle

Cool, one of these big lines that could easily be covered. There are only five good teams in football (Saints, Colts, Pats, Bengals, and Vikings) and the Vikings are one of them. Could and should be a massacre. And wait, they EXTENDED Childress in Minnesota?!? Did anyone else get a flash of Crennel in 2007?

New Orleans –11 over TAMPA BAY

Goddamn it. The Saints are overlooking everyone and not covering anymore. But how in the HELL can I take a one-win Buc team over the best team in the league?!? I hate you, Las Vegas.

NY GIANTS –6.5 over Atlanta

I would take the Falcons eleven days of the week (here’s my Ditka impression) if the Giants weren’t coming off a bye and that wasn’t as reliable a trend as there was in this nutty NFL season. Read More

This was a permanent decision. Looks like someone doesn’t have a lot of faith in the future of the Snyder Era.

This is the baddest man on Earth. It’s getting close to Who Would Win In A Fight, Tyson or Pacquiao, if they went to a common weight class. And if eating wasn’t aloud.

The Bills made the first splash in the executioner’s market, knocking off Dick Jauron after he fell to 3-6. The question remains….who’s next?

Here’s our best guess of the order.

1. Jim Zorn - Top of the list because it’s beyond inevitable. One win over the Broncos won’t save his job.

2. Todd Haley - His team hates him and has regressed in every way. One and done for Paxil-boy.

3. Tom Cable - He punches women and his team sucks. Not even Al Davis would keep him.

4. Eric Mangini - Only way he won’t get fired is if the town rises up and slays him.

5. Norv Turner - Too much talent on that roster to even question a playoff spot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTxHuUGG_2c

They disabled embedding, for some ungodly reason. So follow the link and enjoy.

SAN FRANCISCO –3 over Chicago

Kindly tell me what the Bears do well these days. Not at all once, please. Oh, yes, punch opposing players on the ground. How dumb do you have to be to hit a guy with your fist when they’re wearing a helmet? Boomer Sooner!

Atlanta –1.5 over CAROLINA

I can’t bring myself to take the Panthers, even though they are becoming the demons of the crazy cover. Plus, the Falcons are coming off their bye. Wait, they played Washington last week? That should count as two byes: it’s rest plus a confidence surge.

New Orleans –13.5 over ST LOUIS

No way. Although I feel like NO intentionally dogs the beginning of games and doesn’t cover just to make everyone think they’re vulnerable. The opposite of the Belichick F-U game. It’s the F-Us game.

Denver –3.5 over WASHINGTON

Wow. How much has Vegas lost confidence in the Broncos that they’re only a field goal and change favored over the Redskins? And how small do your cajones have to be (DeAngelo Hall) to demand the league fine a coach who cursed at you on the sideline? We call that an Elvis Grbac.

TENNESSEE –6.5 over Buffalo

What if the Titans won out and made the playoffs? Guess what isn’t impossible?

Cincinnati +7 over PITTSBURGH

No one can believe the Bengals are any good. They’ve beaten Pittsburgh already and won their last two games by a combined score of 52-17 and had a bye in between. Right now, the Bengals are the second best team in the AFC and could probably take the Colts. And they’re getting a touchdown. This seems ludicrous.

Tampa Bay +10 over MIAMI

No, this isn’t a vote of confidence for the Bucs. It’s just that the Dolphins won’t get up for this game. They’re not a Kill The Enemy team. Wait, what am I doing?

MIAMI –10 over Tampa Bay

There.

NY JETS –7 over Jacksonville

The Jets are coming off a bye. And according to the ten day forecast, it’s going to be 63 degrees in East Rutherford. Someone just dodged a Cold Sanchez bullet.

MINNESOTA –16.5 over Detroit

I’d really rather not do this. But it’s the Vikings after a bye against a Detroit team that got outscored 32-3 after the first quarter against Seattle. Over/Under on number of times the announcers say, “Brett Favre is having fun.” I’m going to say it’s higher than this line. And take the over.

Kansas City +2 over OAKLAND

When in doubt, take the points and the quarterback that could hit the Caribbean on the shores of St. Kitts and Nevis.

ARIZONA –8.5 over Seattle

Two schizophrenic teams. I just think Arizona is more adjusted. And don’t think Seattle can win on the road ever.

Philadelphia +2 over SAN DIEGO

I’m taking the points because these teams are almost identical. Neither is really any good, neither has a professional coach, but both could be in the playoffs. That’s how jacked 2009 has been. In other news, I think Andy Reid’s only shot of getting fired is if he runs over Jimmy Rollins with a tractor full of meth.

Dallas –3 over GREEN BAY

The Packers just gave a team their first win of the year. That takes a few weeks to get over. Just ask the Redskins. DeMarcus Ware may match last season’s sack total in this game alone.

New England +3 over INDIANAPOLIS

It’s points. This is one of the few games where the Colts losing their entire secondary to injury will actually be a problem.

Baltimore –10.5 over CLEVELAND

Rob may take the Browns because of the bye week. But in-game fan protests should counter that pretty evenly.

The final table of the World Series of Poker wraps tonight. What’s staggering is that ESPN tries to play up a different ‘Cinderella Story’ every year. If Chaminade could catch a clutch three randomly on the river, it would happen more in actual sports.

I’m in a worse free fall right now than Rob’s blood sugar pre-TheraFlu. By the way, Rob: the way you felt during your flu? That’s how it feels to watch Hines Ward win a Super Bowl. I hope you’ve seen the light.

So I kinda almost want to amend the Club rules. Like… no one in their right mind should have given 17 points in an NFL game. That was just nuts. But I’ve reevaluated the tiers in the league and think my newfound clarity will get me back on track. Or it could be that good teams are playing other good teams now. Or that there are almost no good teams in the league. By my last count, there are only eight. Awesome.

ATLANTA -10 over Washington

Atlanta desperately needs to bounce back from the near-win in New Orleans to stay in the NFC playoff picture. Usually bye weeks help a team. The latest out of DC is that the owner has banned signs, further alienating a fanbase that is deep, but often distracted. The Redskins have treated their fans so badly that DC is a hockey town now. Here’s a great article about the disarray in DC. My favorite part is when the scout describes Fred Davis as “too dumb for the NFL” and Jason Campbell as “dumber than Fred Davis.” Samsonite!

Green Bay -10 over TAMPA BAY

Here’s how bad the Bucs are. I don’t think Green Bay is any good. In fact, I think Aaron Rodgers may be a middle-of-the-pack at best quarterback. He holds on to the ball way too long. That being said, the Buccaneers are the only winless team remaining and are throwing their rookie quarterback to the wolves. The Packer defense should cover this themselves.

Baltimore -3 over CINCINNATI

I don’t want to talk about it.

Houston +9 over INDIANAPOLIS

It’s picks like this that have demolished my big lead. But this is Houston’s Super Bowl. And the Colts have the Pats after their bye. Why shouldn’t they overlook this one? And did anyone notice that Indy can’t run the ball? They won’t need to against most teams, but… rationalizing, rationalizing, rationalizing, vomit.

Miami +10.5 over NEW ENGLAND

Awesome, let’s do this twice. The Patriots blew out two terrible teams. The rest of their games were all competitive. And the Dolphins are masters at keeping any game close. I also love the idea of the Dolphins winning every division game and losing the rest. By the way, how crappy is this division all of a sudden? Read More