CELEBRITY
GAMING
MOVIESI’m in a worse free fall right now than Rob’s blood sugar pre-TheraFlu. By the way, Rob: the way you felt during your flu? That’s how it feels to watch Hines Ward win a Super Bowl. I hope you’ve seen the light.
So I kinda almost want to amend the Club rules. Like… no one in their right mind should have given 17 points in an NFL game. That was just nuts. But I’ve reevaluated the tiers in the league and think my newfound clarity will get me back on track. Or it could be that good teams are playing other good teams now. Or that there are almost no good teams in the league. By my last count, there are only eight. Awesome.
ATLANTA -10 over Washington
Atlanta desperately needs to bounce back from the near-win in New Orleans to stay in the NFC playoff picture. Usually bye weeks help a team. The latest out of DC is that the owner has banned signs, further alienating a fanbase that is deep, but often distracted. The Redskins have treated their fans so badly that DC is a hockey town now. Here’s a great article about the disarray in DC. My favorite part is when the scout describes Fred Davis as “too dumb for the NFL” and Jason Campbell as “dumber than Fred Davis.” Samsonite!
Green Bay -10 over TAMPA BAY
Here’s how bad the Bucs are. I don’t think Green Bay is any good. In fact, I think Aaron Rodgers may be a middle-of-the-pack at best quarterback. He holds on to the ball way too long. That being said, the Buccaneers are the only winless team remaining and are throwing their rookie quarterback to the wolves. The Packer defense should cover this themselves.
Baltimore -3 over CINCINNATI
I don’t want to talk about it.
Houston +9 over INDIANAPOLIS
It’s picks like this that have demolished my big lead. But this is Houston’s Super Bowl. And the Colts have the Pats after their bye. Why shouldn’t they overlook this one? And did anyone notice that Indy can’t run the ball? They won’t need to against most teams, but… rationalizing, rationalizing, rationalizing, vomit.
Miami +10.5 over NEW ENGLAND
Awesome, let’s do this twice. The Patriots blew out two terrible teams. The rest of their games were all competitive. And the Dolphins are masters at keeping any game close. I also love the idea of the Dolphins winning every division game and losing the rest. By the way, how crappy is this division all of a sudden? Read More
Tiers Part II
We first asked the question around Week 4. Four weeks later, a whole lot has changed already. We saw the birth of The Club, the death of the New York Super Bowl, and the Ravens lose three and then get one back. We’ll go over this in podcast, and by that I mean I’ll argue with Rob Slattery about it. But here’s my best bet of breaking down the Tiers in the NFL. To show you how much has changed, the previous tier is in parentheses.
Five Stars - The Favorites
-New Orleans Saints (8-0): They’re just ridiculous. As good as the Greatest Show Rams with a whole lot more defense. That supercedes alphatetical order. Not even another Katrina could stop these guys (5).
-Indianapolis Colts (7-0): They’re undefeated. Having been tested twice by middle of the pack teams (Jags and Niners), you can’t argue with the record. (5)
-Minnesota Vikings (7-1): They probably don’t belong here because Favre’s health is a ticking time bomb and they have a loss on the docket. But they were very nearly undefeated. (4) Read More
This is fun. Vikes running back Naufahu Tahi was knocked out of the game after wrestling with Adrian Peterson, the guy for whom he lead blocks. Turns out Tahi forgot AP was part lizard.
Minutes after Meb Keflezighi became the first American in nearly 30 years to win the New York Marathon, Steve Schwarz became the first Chinese-born man to win the Beijing marathon in as many.
“This means so much to me, y’all,” said Schwartz, running his hands through his red hair. “I mean, sh*t. I feel so proud to be a Chinese.”
Schwartz, 6′3″, demolished the competition in just under three hours. He waved to his countrymen as he completed the race. Some of his adoring fans were chanting his nickname, ‘Opie,’ because of his uncanny resemblance to American TV star Ron Howard.
“Not sure ’bout that,” said Schwartz, as he ate a hot dog and a cherry coke. “I’m just proud to win this for my country, you know.”
Schwartz was unavailable for further comment because he does not speak Chinese.
Last week was my crap week. Hopefully I can bounce back and not go on a slide.
BALTIMORE –3.5 over Denver
This is a 90% homer pick. The idea of Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal blowing past the Baltimore corners is going to haunt me all week. Luckily, Kyle Orton can’t really throw the deep ball. I also have a weird feeling they got their act together. No tangible evidence. Such is the life of a homer.
Seattle +9.5 over DALLAS
Whoa, is this a lot of points. I admit, the Cowboys did look pretty good. Miles Austin has bigger gums than anyone I’ve seen in the league. They kept on replaying him smiling on the sideline and it was like a pink couch in his mouth over his teeth. That’s why I think Seattle will cover. This is why I crapped the sink last week.
DETROIT –3 over St. Louis
The Times They Are A Changin’! We’re laying points with the Lions! But the Rams are very much in the untouchable club. If they lose this one, they’re officially on O-fer watch (bye, Saints, Cardinals, Seahawks, Bears, Titans, Texans, Cardinals, Niners).
INDIANAPOLIS –12 over San Francisco
Peyton Manning is just ridiculous this year. And the reemergence…or rather first emergence… of Alex Smith makes the Niners better, but the Colts are just too damn good on offense. By the way, if Alex Smith has a great rest of the season, I’d argue he’s ineligible for Comeback Player because he was never here in the first place. Read More
A guy fell out of the press box at Invesco Field at Mile High. Broncos fans in the seats he hit complained about the obstructed view.
Following the news that negative signs were no longer permitted by Redskins brass, Dan Snyder has announced that fans will be banned from attending Redskins games in the future.
“I’m stunned,” says longtime ticketholder Herb Mankowicz of Vienna, VA. “I always thought the team liked having people in the stands.”
“I don’t think I’m getting a rebate on my tickets,” says Tom Jackson of Northeast DC. “I mean, I paid for them and then was told to never show up…and then they thanked me again for the tickets.”
“This is my ball and you can’t play with my ball,” Snyder bellowed at a press conference. He then took the podium and huffed off the podium.
There’s a rumor that players will soon be banned, which should have quite an effect on the gameplan for the Falcons in Week 9.
Sunderland beat Liverpool off a goal that ricocheted off a beach ball that had fallen onto the field. He also awarded an HBP when Randy Johnson destroyed that bird a few years ago.
