Yankees’ Dicks are Bigger than Your Team’s Dicks

Written by Rachel Arbeit

My New York Yankees don’t win a Championship and lay on the couch all hungover after. No, they go out there and make moves.

The Evil Empire is dealing in the off-season like a team that didn’t just win the World Series. That’s the kind-of cocky arrogance this team missed in the between the past two Word Championships.

The Yankees early aggressive behavior is inspiring. Never let being the best defeat you.

And there will be more moves still. Personally, I don’t think the Yankees should sign a pitcher named “Lackey.” Not while the NY Post is still in business. Any game that Lackey blows will lead to a corny headline like: “Lackey Luster,” “Not-so-Happy-Go-Lackey,” and “Slacky Lackey.”

For the right player, Cashman will give up the farm… literally. What needs to be considered when fishing through the expensive, but talented starting pitching options, is to properly identify the team’s chances of acquiring Joe Mauer. If the Yankees genuinely believe through private detective work and well-placed spies that they can get Mauer, than trading prospect Jesus Montero is not such a big problem. But if the Yankees discover that Mauer is a good ol’ boy who will stay in the Midwest assuming he likes playing baseball outside in the tundra, than yeah, the Yankees need be very thoughtful when considering moving Jesus.

One big question still remains… will the Bronx Bombers have a happy Halliday?

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