Well, I knew a little 6-8 special was in order after my reign of terror. But I’m getting’ back! Maybe. I don’t know. The endless sandwich crap screwed me up. Although, wait a minute, I want to do a quick recap real fast…

The Club was 3-3 last weekend, and all but one of them lost (the Redskins and Chiefs both covered, Cleveland won outright). What we’ve learned is that Buffalo is the misguided but well intentioned layer of wing sauce drenching our once proud club. Or the toothpicks with the frizzy ends. Actually, I don’t know what to say about this. I’m still picking against the Club.

Houston +4.5 over Cincinnati

The Bengals are good (obviously I’m going to say that now), but every single game as been ridiculously close, including Cleveland. I also think the Bengals get up for the tough games (Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Green Bay) and kinda float up to the others (Denver, Cleveland). They’re not going to kill the Texans, although they probably should. Bengals win it from behind on a fluke blocked punt where the Houston guy fumbles at the goal line and then Leon Hall takes it 108 yards to the house the other way with no time left.

Kansas City +6.5 over WASHINGTON

Okay, you’re absolutely high if you’re going to lay almost a touchdown with a team that can’t score them. High on drugs. Club on Club crime, you take the points. That’s what we learned from the Derek Anderson 2/17 victory over mayonnaise game.

Carolina –3.5 over TAMPA BAY

That’s three road teams in a row. Carolina is ALMOST a club team, but the Bucs are just incredibly bad. They’re also in the pantheon of Just Fired The OC Lets See How This Works Out. Although I’ve just picked the Chiefs… whatever. By the way, we’re officially on ’08 Lions watch with the Bucs after this one. Speaking of which…

JACKSONVILLE –10 over St. Louis

The Rams might be the worst team ever. EVER. They can do absolutely nothing. Jacksonville went 3-and-out on seven of eleven possessions against Seattle and they’re going to look like the ’99 Rams this Sunday. By the way, I only bring this up because I’m watching it now, Rich Eisen is AWESOME on the NFL Network taking Head Ref Mike Pereira to task for all the awful calls of the week. Periera is basically like Saddam’s information guy who was out there saying “We Are Repelling The Infidels!” as PVC Wilson was teabagging Hussein’s fallen statue.

Baltimore +2.5 over MINNESOTA

I’m not a delusional homer yet. Or am I? The Vikings have played only one team that we can confirm as being good (San Fran) and needed a Berman hairball to win it. I’m done explaining myself, goddamn it.

PITTSBURGH –14 over Cleveland

This is just too many points. Guess what? The Steelers just lost their best player for the year (DE Aaron Smith). I should take the Browns because Pittsburgh can’t close out anyone. But… DA’s 2/17 sh*tstorm is just undeniable. I can’t believe they won a game. Goddamn it, this is making me crazy. The Browns are just so bad, but… damn it. Fine.

NEW ORLEANS –3.5 over NY Giants

The game of the year in the NFC. The only reason why I’m giving points to maybe the best team in the league this year is that they haven’t played anyone even remotely good this year. Four club teams and Dallas, who can’t do anything either. The Saints played the Lions and Bills (who are both better than anyone NY has played) and killed the Eagles and Jets. Plus, I still can’t come to terms with Eli being an elite athlete.

Detroit +13.5 over GREEN BAY

The Lions are feisty. They no longer believe they’re an absolute apocalypse. I’m not saying they’re going to win, I mean the Pack are coming off a bye. But the Lions don’t get demolished anymore. I don’t know, I just think double digits is a little much here. The Packers also reek of the Redskins from a couple years ago: they used up their actual playbook in the preseason and don’t have anything left.

Philadelphia –14 over OAKLAND

Club Game. In other news, I’ve taken almost entirely road teams this week in a year where home teams are covering like crazy. I just saw Donovan McNabb in an IHOP commercial. What is this, 2003? And the Raiders, I mean they quit before Fox was done rolling out the graphics package last week.

SEATTLE –2.5 over Arizona

Just wait until the Seahawks get into the playoffs. How jacked is that going to be? They have a real home field advantage and I don’t think Arizona can even defend their run last year as anything other than a fluke. Like A Picture of Dorian Gray, that means some Doc Martins and a Buzzcut for Brenda Warner.

NEW ENGLAND –9 over Tennessee

This is a whole bunch of points, but can we trust the Titans at all this year? What if Vince Young starts the game? What if he has a teddy bear tucked under his throwing arm? What then?!?

Buffalo +9.5 over NY JETS

I take it back, I’m not putting the Bills in the club. This is an awful lot of points. What’s up with the high lines this week? Most of them are absurd. The Jets haven’t beaten the f*ck out of anyone yet. Their biggest victory was the Houston game, and even that wasn’t an all out ass kicking. Plus, Rex Ryan doesn’t know he can’t use the two timeouts he left in Miami at home this week.

ATLANTA –3.5 over Chicago

Another great NFC game! The Bears just came off a bye, but so did the Falcons, and technically they got another last week just ripping the Niners apart. This has Bad Jay Cutler written all over it. He’s 8-12 in his career on the road.

Denver +4 over SAN DIEGO

We were all wrong about Josh McDaniels. San Diego has had a tough schedule, but who have they beaten this year? The bye is all well and good, but Denver’s undefeated and getting points again. Who thought the difference this year for the Broncos would be coaching…for the better?