The U.S. Open got off to a wet start Thursday morning at famed Bethpage Black in New York and Tiger Woods said he had absolutely nothing to do with it.  Though, this “journalist” can’t be so sure.

Fellow playing partner Padraig Harrington is also skeptical, “I saw him reach to the sky at one point,” Harrington said.  “But, I think that was just his swing.”

Yes, it seems the wet weather was arduous for everyone, including Woods, whose U.S. Open defense started with an adventure in the woods (sorry, had to) as he pulled his opening tee shot 50 yards off line.  Then, curiously enough it was raining like hell and play was  suspended just six hole holes later.  Coincidence?  One wonders. “Way left,” caddie Steve Williams cried out as Woods slapped his ball way left off.

“On the practice range, I saw him raise his hands to the sky,”  Jim Furyk, fellow touring pro said.   “Though, I think it was just part of his stretching routine.”

Finally, I was able to track down the big game that is the world’s No. 1.  He had a sly grin on his face and a certain popular snack in his mouth.

“Who are you?  Stop following me!”  Woods shouted, as he alerted the authorities.  “I had a hankering for some Cheetos!  What was I supposed to do?”