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Texas Tech at Texas Preview
Last season, the #1 ranked Texas Longhorn’s undefeated season came crashing down in a game in the high plains of West Texas in a 39-33 loss to Texas Tech. The fallout of the game was a three way tie for the Big XII South and Texas being left out of the Big XII title game and the National Championship. And many, many, many, many pouty faced whining about the rules moments. Signs, T-Shirts, blog posts and all proclaimed how wronged the Texas Longhorns were at being left out of the Big XII Championship despite beating Oklahoma 45-35.
It was very classy of Texas to use the “Never Forget” slogan that was used with 9-11 Attacks to convey the injustice at them being left out of a football game. Now with the rematch, Texas has revenge on their minds even though the adamantly deny having revenge on their minds. How will this year’s matchup play out? Let’s examine some crucial factors (after the jump):
| #2 Ranked Texas Longhorns |
Unranked Texas Tech Red Raiders |
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|---|---|---|
Coach |
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Mack Brown
|
 Mike Leach Thinks he’s a pirate |
|
EDGE: |
Red Raiders |
|
Current NFL Player Alum are Most Proud Of |
||
Vince Young |
Wes Welker |
|
EDGE: |
Red Raiders |
|
Google Image Search Test |
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| Search Images “Longhorn Fan”. 1st Result:  |
Search Images “Red Raider Fan”. 1st Result:  |
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EDGE: |
Red Raiders |
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Facial Hair |
||
 Colt McCoy’s Mustache Its too thin to be a porn stache. Its too full to be a wispy entering puberty stache. It lacks any sort of identity or recognizable homage. It may have just been to prove to teammates that he could grow hair on his face. |
 Taylor Potts’ Beard He’s bringing Leprechaun back. |
|
EDGE: |
Texas Tech |
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Musical Legend |
||
 Stevie Ray Vaughn In 2003, Rolling Stone magazine ranked Stevie Ray Vaughan #7 in its list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time and Classic RockWildest Guitar Heroes in 2007. Magazine ranked him #3 in their list of the 100 |
 Buddy Holly Gary Busey played Buddy in The Buddy Holly Story. Gary. Freakin’. Busey. |
|
EDGE: |
Red Raiders |
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Had Chris Simms |
||
 Did Have Chris Simms |
 Did not have Chris Simms |
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EDGE: |
Red Raidersfor never having any |
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Annoying Celebrity |
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 Matthew McConaughey In between making cool films like Dazed and Confused, A Time to Kill and Tropic Thunder, he’s made a billion identical chick flicks. And he sat in on the 2005 National Championship Team Photo. Seriously. If you were working out every day for 20 years, doing two-a-days in Texas heat, wouldn’t you be pissed when they said “Hey! The dude from How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days is going to sit in on our team photo!!!” |
 The Fat One from The Dixie Chicks Whether it be for her political stances, her creation of country music or other things, everyone has a reason to dislike her. |
|
EDGE: |
Longhorns |
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Football tradition/history/National Championships/Conference Championships/Ranking/Talent on current team/Size of school/Recruiting Classes/Other indicators as to who will win this game |
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| Has all of those | Is a little behind | |
EDGE: |
Longhorns |
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Game Day (Sept 19) is National Talk Like a Pirate Day |
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STRONG EDGE: |
Red Raiders |
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Final Tally:
Longhorns: 2 Red Raiders: 7
So, its pretty evident from a totally objective analysis of the teams and schools who has the edge, even though many in the media are predicting a HUGE 4 touchdown upset by the Longhorns. It was the highest watched game last year on ABC and the 4th highest watched game ever on ABC. Tune in to see if there’s another finish like last year:
That’s all!
Late note: (from Wikipedia minutia) Chris Simms has the nickname “Goldenrod” from high school. His other phallic nicknames are not fit for this family friendly blog. Normal people would have shut down that nickname LONG before it hit the world wide web. “Yeah, I’m fine being called Goldenrod. But, guys, I think the Blonde Penis is going TOO far.”
Yeah, too bad the Red Raiders blew their whole wad in those final seconds against Texas and couldn’t show up for their game against OU. They barely eeked it out against - of all people - Baylor, then phoned it in for their bowl game against Ole Miss. The result is a new, little-known Big 12 rule that, in the event of a tie, Texas A&M will be delared the conference champion.
Does Texas A&M still play football?
No, which makes them the obvious choice.
Random tangent story to bag on A&M a little more:
Here in Austin, there is a Longhorns Sports station and then there is the AM station that does A&M games. To tease games, they play clips from radio broadcasts of former games.
UT will play a tease from them winning the Rose Bowl. Shipley returning a punt for a TD.
A&M plays a clip of a five yard dive play against Navy. I would be sad if that was the highlight to tease my team.
If you’d grown up in College Station, it would be all you had. Kind of like Tech before Leach.
I might have to argue here. Alum is pretty proud of Zach Thomas as well. A good debate could be made for either. Zach should be the first Tech player in the Pro Football Hall of Fame though (unless someone wants to throw E.J. Holub or Donny Anderson a late bone here. C’mon, Anderson was the starting HB for the first two Packers Super Bowl champs).
But I’m going to outright disagree with Buddy Holly and Stevie Ray Vaughn being a tie. Stevie Ray was a great guitarist, but Buddy Holly should be the King of Rock and Roll and has been called such by both The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. Unbelievable number of records and hits in a short 16-month career. Extremely influential on everyone that influenced everyone else in rock (Beatles, Stones, Dylan, etc.).
But I like the outcome either way. WRECK ‘EM!
I left Zach off because the Chiefs cut him and he’s not on anyone’s roster.
@WhackSmacker
In your first comment you forgot the part where we blew out a ranked OSU team the week after we beat UT.
Ah, didn’t know about Zach. Bummer.
Any year, but this one I would say that the Red Raiders stood a chance. But the Horns will be out for blood. I will say though, Welker is one tough cookie and Vince is an idiot…so you have a very solid point there. And Colt McCoy looks like a child molester with that mustache….but I still think it will be a tough game to watch.
Great article!
@Will C
You mean the week that Texas was rolling over the Bears that three weeks later had the Raiders gasping for air at home?
Just for reference:
vs. Baylor:
Texas: 45-21 (Refused to disavow connections with Chris Simms)
Tech: 35-28 (Crabtree with injured foot. Harrell played with broken fingers that he had surgery on later)
vs. Oklahoma State:
Texas: 24-21 (Barely eeked out a win at home. Still associated with Chris Simms)
Texas Tech: 56-20 (Not as close as the score would indicate.)
vs. Kansas:
Texas: 35-7 (May have been Chris Simms bobblehead day)
Texas Tech: 63-21 (Stopped before scoring TD #10 as to not make t.u. feel bad for themselves)
(TO save time, I’ll go on and write in WhackSmacker’s comments:)
Oh yeah?!?! What about vs Oklahoma??!
vs. Oklahoma:
Texas 45-35 (And no that isn’t the number of sleepovers Shipley and McCoy have each semester. Its how bad we beat Oklahoma since we’re awesome!)
Texas Tech: Big time losers (Playing in Oklahoma where they have only lost twice since Stoops took over. A place UT has yet to play.)
Side note: Can someone let me know what time they have scheduled the Shipley-McCoy story during the broadcast this weekend? Yes we know their dads played together and were best friends. Yes we know they played Pop Warner football together. Yes we know about the summers in Wyoming deep in the mountains herding sheep together. We’ve seen the story EVERY UT GAME!!! Enough!
Wow, I seem to have struck the motherlode of people who actually CARE about this stuff! Come on, fess up, you’re the one who developed the BCS ranking system, right? I’ll be right back after I go sift through Wikipedia minutia to prove that Lubbock is actually the alpine skiing capital of Texas.
Sounds like a ploy to divert attention away from the fact that UT had Chris Simms.
Chris who?
All great stuff… tech had their best team of all time (past and present) and will never achieve anything close to last year again.
Leach should have left at his high.
Its all downhill from here techies… soon your football will once again be as lousy as your education.
Correction: past and future.
fucking idiot tard clown college
I mean, the Longhorns have clearly failed this impartial analysis, but I think calling them “fucking idiot tard clown college” is a little harsh.
Wow “fucking idiot tard clown college” is a little harsh coming from Peasant U. I’ll pass on the yard service this week Guillermo.