In a stunning performance at game four of the Eastern Conference Finals, the Orlando Magic pulled ahead 3-1… wait, what? NHL, is that you? Why are you sitting all alone in the corner? No one likes you? That’s not true! You’re just on TV channels no one gets…

Okay, NHL, this is for you. So cheer up and turn that frown upside-down!

The Pittsburgh Penguins completed a sweep of the Carolina Panthers on Tuesday night, and are now on their way to the Stanley Cup Finals. Oh, it’s the Carolina Hurricanes ? Beggars can’t be choosers, NHL, so chill out. No one will notice!

Now, the Penguins are waiting for the Detroit Red Queens and the Chicago Blackhawks to suss out the Western Conference Finals. The Red Queens currently lead 3-1 in the… sorry, it’s Red Wings ?

You know what, NHL? I try my best to give you some attention and all you do is complain! This is too hard, I’m giving up and going back to NBA coverage. I may even cover cricket . Oh, yes, I did! I just went there, NHL!

PS–Please don’t kill me Red Wings fans. It was just a joke! I swear!