Hey, at least I know I got one game right…

ATLANTA (-1) over Carolina
Dude… I love me the NFC South teams at home.  Plus, what is happening to Jake Delhomme?  I mean, I knew he sucked about two years ago, but I feel like he’s giving a giant middle-finger to everyone now… not just me.  I guess that makes me feel a little less special, but misery loves company, suckas.

BALTIMORE (-1) over Philadelphia
What happened to Philly last week?  Seriously… who ties an NFL game?  And who ties that game against the Bengals?!  I also will say the Ravens played the Giants closer than the score showed.  The Derrick Mason “my shoulder is busted, so I’m going to let this ball hit me in the face” interception blew the game open.  Plus, I like me the Flacco.

CLEVELAND (-3) over Houston
And yes, that’s 3 home teams in a row.  I will regret it.  I know this.  I think I’m just completely distracted by Brady Quinn and his handsomeness.  I’m not kidding.  I’m not afraid to admit I have a man-crush on him.  In fact, the ol’ fiancee says I also have the same man-love for Tom Brady, Joshua Jackson, Jason Statham, Jack Bauer (not Kiefer), and Hugh Laurie.  As you can tell, I watch too much TV.

San Francisco (+10.5) over DALLAS
I say the power of a pants-less Mike Singletary is stronger than an on-the-mend Tony Romo…

Tampa Bay (-9) over DETROIT
Do not go gentle into that good night… I will not get back on the Detroit smack this week.  Plus, they have to be 0-for-the-season going into Thanksgiving.  It might be the only way we can stop them from playing on that day. 

Minnesota (+2.5) over JACKSONVILLE
I hate both of these teams.  One of them will screw me over somehow.  The Gus Bus is either driving the team off the road or MJD is going to go nuts for 3 TDs.  I hate them both equally.  Whether or not that’s the case at the end of this game is still up for grabs.

Buffalo (-3) over KANSAS CITY
Just when you thought it was safe to write off the Bills, the Senator brings them back!  Actually, he’s mostly going to watch as Lynch runs all over the Chiefs.

New England (+1.5) over MIAMI
I’m tired of hearing about the “Wildcat”.  It doesn’t mean anything to me.  It’s not like the “Spread offense” or the “Power I”.  “Wildcat” just doesn’t sound like it’s descriptive enough.  And if we’re going in a non-descriptive direction, can’t we call it the “Thundercat”?  That way, fathers have a way to teach their children about a strange cartoon that was probably more bizarre than anything else.

Chicago (-9) over ST. LOUIS
Yeah, I know the Bears got mangled last week.  In fact, I think the Rams are going to cover in this game.  But the Costanza worked for me before… my hope is it finds me again, with the intensity of Daniel Day-Lewis in The Last of the Mohicans.

NY Jets (+5.5) over TENNESSEE
It’s time for the undefeated season to go down.  It’s also about time for everyone to fall in love with the Jets… only to be disappointed when they go out in the first round of the postseason.

DENVER (-10) over Oakland
This line makes me giddy for some reason.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m losing my mind or if this reminds me of when Rosolio compared Art Shell to Peter Griffin.

NY Giants (-3) over ARIZONA
This is the game where Kurt Warner gives the ball to the other team 5 times.  He’ll probably still throw for 3 TDs and 350 yards, but he’s going to give the ball away like it’s his new religion.

SEATTLE (+3) over Washington
The ‘Skins are reeling.  And they’re contractually obligated to disappoint their fans and let the Cowboys make the playoffs.  It’s in the fine print.

Indianapolis (+3) over SAN DIEGO
The Colts are building momentum as the Chargers are moving closer to the 8-8 season I predicted before the season started.  But hey, at least Norv Turner is coming back for 2009.

NEW ORLEANS (-2.5) over Green Bay
The Packers have to lose to make sure everyone is talking about how bad the NFC North is, and how the playoff team from that division is going to get destroyed in the first round.  Plus, I love the NFC South at home… you already know this, but I’m just reiterating.  At this point, it’s almost a science.

Saints 31 - Packers 20