Legendary broadcaster, hall of fame coach, and the Mario of sports games John Madden has officially called his last game in the NFL. The aftershocks are as follows:

-Uh-Der-Um-Uh-Huh-Uh brand detergent no longer gets the free product mentions.

-Ducks, Turkeys, and Chickens can now all hang out in the same area without the threat of being torn to pieces by the bare hands of a drunk-with-hunger pitch-man.

-Millions of gamers await the release of Collinsworth ‘10.

-Shocked, Al Davis chokes on his Soul Po’Boy. Lives.