"Hey! Where's The Buffet?"

I’m not saying Rex Ryan is fat, I’m saying his chin is a scientific marvel and should be studied by astronomists to see what the gravitational pull is.  Rex Ryan’s chin is so big, Leno should have him on every night just to assure himself there’s someone else on the planet who can’t see from his chin down to his vagina.

That chin is awfully suspicious looking.   It’s an alien-like mass.  A foreign object existing outside the realm of nature as we understand it — like the Monolith in Kubrick’s 2001.  What do you think inspired shut-down cornerback Darrelle Revis?  Ryan’s chin.  It covers everything… except the prying eyes of this reporter.

Often I dabble in politics, and as The Jets get ready for The Colts today I kind of miss Lou Dobbs.  Ahhh…  The good ole days.  I can hear Dobbs now:  “Mark… Sanchez?  I’ve never seen his Green Card.   Have you?”  The immigration policies are some of the greatest farces facing this great nation and everyone knows it.  I for one will not idly stand by and witness the theft of the National Football League and destruction of The Untied States Of America as we know it.  USA!  USA!  USA!

Wake up White People!

Sanchez might be part of that crazy drug cartel Glenn Beck warns about.  The one from Mexico.  By way of Afghanistan.  The liberal media might try to spin this into some issue about race, but that’s not so.  The MSM can manipulate the masses all they want, but we cling to notions called “values.”   Maybe you’ve heard of ‘em?  Morals are at our core.  We are salt of the Earth people and real Americans.

Naturally, this leads us to a few important questions:  Does New York really want a drug dealing cartel of big-chinned terrorists without papers representing them in The Super Bowl?  Do you support radical Islamic fundamentalism springing from extra-terrestrial sources?  Are you an American?

Live Free Or Die — Suspend Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez.

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