ATLANTA (-5.5) over Denver
If you would have told me the Bronco’s D was going to be this bad before the season, I would have called you crazy.  Though, if you would have told me the Bailey brothers were going to play on the same team and both get injured, I probably would have said the same thing… right after I looked up whether or not Champ Bailey had a brother.

CAROLINA (-14) over Detroit
I can’t believe I’m backing a team whose QB completed 11 passes last week… and four were to the other team.  But I’m through hating myself through the Lions.  And now that I’ve said that, I know Calvin Johnson is going to get a garbage TD in this game to make the final score 31-20.

Philadelphia (-9.5) over CINCINNATI
I will also not start hating myself through the Bengals.  I’m off the smack.  Hopefully, this self-imposed intervention will last.

Chicago (pk) over GREEN BAY
I don’t know what to do with the Bears now.  The “Constanza” didn’t cut it last week.  This might be more wishful thinking, but Rex says he’s 3-0 at Lambeau.  Here’s hoping his 3-0 is holding a clipboard on the sideline.

INDIANAPOLIS (-8.5) over Houston
For a second, I thought this might be a redemption game for Sage.  But then I forced myself to watch his ill-advised re-enactment of Elway’s Super Bowl helicopter. I decided putting my faith in Sage was a bad idea.

Tennessee (-3) over JACKSONVILLE
Kerry Frickin’ Collins… I still can’t believe he’s the QB for a 9-0 team.  I feel like he should be handing the ball off to Curtis Enis as some old guy looks on and says incomprehensible things.

New Orleans (-5) over KANSAS CITY
The Chiefs have been somewhat frisky over the last three weeks, but I think that ends after Drew Brees gets loose on their sideline and starts screaming at Tyler Thigpen.

MIAMI (-10.5) over Oakland
Seriously… how did the Raiders beat the Jets this year?  How did that happen?  That has to be the biggest upset of the season.  It’s almost like when Shane Falco threw that  TD pass to a deaf TE who would one day try to beat up Jim Halpert.

NY GIANTS (-6.5) over Baltimore
It kills me to take the Giants in this one because I love me the Joe Flacco.  Everyone talks about how Flacco left Pittsburgh because he didn’t want to compete for the starting job.  I think he left because he knew Dave Wannstedt was going to hurt his chances of becoming a QB in the NFL.

TAMPA BAY (-4) over Minnesota
NFC South team at home against the Gus Bus.

SAN FRANCISCO (-6) over St Louis
It’s hard to gauge which team has less of a pulse at this point, but I’m taking the 49ers.  Even though they really should have lost last week’s game by like 3 TDs (Arizona couldn’t stay on their side of the line of scrimmage for some reason), I think the Rams expiration date has passed.  By the way, does anyone know what happened to Marc Bulger?  Or is this just what Rams’ QBs are supposed to do?  He’s obviously going to go to the Giants next, where he won’t play all that well.  Then, he’s going to end up in Arizona and somehow be good again.  Is this just what happens to these guys?  If so, someone should let Jim Everett know this is an option.

Arizona (-2.5) over SEATTLE
I don’t know if a guy getting strength back in his leg means your team is going to keep the game close.

PITTSBURGH (-4.5) over San Diego
I have no idea.

Dallas (-2.5) over WASHINGTON
I’m assuming Clinton Portis isn’t playing this week or is really limited.  I’m also assuming Tony Romo with a busted pinkie is still better than Brad “Statue” Johnson and Brooks “I’m just happy to be collecting a check” Bollinger.

Cleveland (+4.5) over BUFFALO
I think the intervention might be over.  I plan to hate myself when Cleveland is down 17-3.  Though, I must say… that Brady Quinn is dreamy.  He’s no Hot Tom, but sometimes you gotta make do.

Browns 24-Bills 17