Brett Favre is in the process of pulling one of the biggest practical jokes on the sporting media. For the past few months, Favre–with the help of Vikings head coach Brad Childress–has been leading the media to believe that he will come back one more time and play for the Minnesota Vikings. Now, all of this could be true, but I like to imagine that they are just jerking the media around to get a few laughs.

Now, I have no proof of this, but I think Favre is just getting revenge on ESPN for making his un-retirement last year into a CNN-like media circus. They built expectations way beyond reality and so when Favre fell a bit short of the playoffs with the Jets, everyone felt a gypped. Now it’s a new year, and a new un-retirement rumor for Favre and he’s looking for some payback.

Let’s break down his diabolical plan:

Step One
Place a few phone calls as an “unidentified source” to ESPN and various Minnesota newspapers. Say how you’re practicing with some high school kids and looking hungry for some competition.

Step Beta
Call Brad Childress–who happens to also hate the sports media–and get him in on the action. Tell Brad to call your agent, expressing interest in some Favre action with the Vikings. With blood in the water, the media starts freaking out. Make sure to let Brad know that any comment he makes to the press should be cryptic and vague.

Step Kilgore
Schedule tendon surgery that would alleviate that nagging pain in your arm, but have your physician make it out to mean that the surgery is only done when a quarterback wants to get back to throwing ASAP. Follow this up by appearing incognito in various Minneapolis locales. Was it a ghost, or was it Favre?

Step 666
Call ESPN again as an “unidentified source” and say how Brad gave you a deadline to commit to playing with the Vikings. On the following day, have Brad call a local radio station and have him deny the whole thing… and have him blame it on your wife. Deanna’s been getting on your back for a week about that damn gazebo she wants built.

Step Infinity
Continue the charade until a day before preseason starts and then hold a press conference saying that you “might still be interested, but nothing is for certain” and watch the press freak out some more. Rinse and repeat for the next five years.

If all goes to plan, ESPN’s news operation will have a massive heart attack and implode. Once it’s bloated corpse is buried, we can get back to enjoying the obscure sports that they used to play in lieu of endless talking heads. God bless you, Brett Favre!