Wednesday brought together 4 or 5 of us to battle the All Knowing, All powerful computer that runs the autodraft for Fox Sports Fantasy. Man vs. Machine. It was an epic struggle reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Terminator and Superman III with that evil computer that spat out bubbles and shit. Below are the results:
(You can see some of the computer’s handywork in Sanctimommy, Salad, Thats So Raven and Kelly Kapowski)
The absence of 75% of the drafters led to few surprises in the first round and autodraft performed as most would have guessed. The hope that Sanctimommy would follow through with her threats to draft based solely on the footwear of the athletes up for draft led me to believe that she might pass on one of the top running backs in favor of Chad Ochocinco or Billy “White Shoes” Johnson. Sadly it was not so.
Round 2 Analysis:
Brian Westbrook - Philly - RB
Randy Moss - New England - WR
Frank Gore - San Francisco - RB
Tom Brady - New England - QB
Peyton Manning - Indy - QB
Calvin Johnson - Detroit - WR
Jason Witten - Dallas - TE
Clinton Portis - Washington - RB
Chris Johnson - Tennessee - RB
Reggie Wayne - Indy - WR
Steve Smith - Carolina - WR
Greg Jennings - Green Bay - WR
Other than Witten going 3 rounds before any other tight end, every drafting smart doesn’t make for good comedy. In lieu of making fun of draft picks…
Did you see that Oregon running back cold cock the D-Lineman from Boise State? He then started jumping around like he just won the MMA championships. Then he tried to fight Boise State. Not a player, but everyone associated with Boise State. Fans. Coaches. Tera Patrick.
I didn’t see the official time between “Yeah, I f’ing knocked out that big dumb white dude” and “Oh shit, I may have just thrown away any chance I had at an NFL career or ever playing football again.” Should have been a matter of seconds, but the dude just didn’t seem like he was a Rhodes Scholar or anything. Then the following interview with the Boise State coach was nice. They have to be diplomatic when talking about incidents like that.
What He Said: “Well you know, its just emotions getting the best of players. And, you know, it was a hard fought game. I was really proud of our defense. Uhhh. You know. Typical first game.”
What he wanted to say:
“The dude is a dickwad.”
Anyways. Check back for some pregame smack next week before the games start and previews of the matchups and anything else we might think of to make things interesting.
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