There was a time when Jose Canseco was one of the most feared sluggers in baseball.  The Oakland Athletics outfielder was the role model for every little leaguer and the object of desire for their mothers.  However, the years have been hard on Canseco and it seems that he will go down in history as a pharmaceutically enhanced media whore with unmatched talent in the art of self-degradation.

His most recent embarrassment occurred on Tuesday when he entered into a mixed martial arts match against Korean fighter Hong Man Choi.  Here’s how the two matched up:

Jose Canseco: 44 years old, 6 foot 3 inches tall, 253 pounds, barfighter.

Hong Man Choi: 28 years old, 7 foor 2 inches tall, 330 pounds, kickboxer.

Canseco never had a chance, tapping out in a mere 76 seconds.  He came into the match scared and once the giant got on top of him, it was all over.  The only real victory for Canseco was that he didn’t soil himself as far as we know.

Let’s take a look back at Jose Canseco’s descent into piece-of-sh*itery:

1. The Fly Ball: After being traded to the Texas Rangers, Canseco had one infamously embarassing play that would permanently place him on blooper reels for years to come.  A fly ball hit him in the head and bounced over the fence for a home run.  He then searched around for the ball hoping to save the play.

2. Juiced : Strapped for cash and with steroids in the news, Canseco decided to write a book about his use during his professional career.  He also decided to rat out his teammates and estimate a percentage for the league’s steroid use.

3. The Surreal Life : Canseco took a stab at reality television when he joined the cast of season 5 of VH1’s The Surreal Life .  Cameras watched as he hung around with other has beens and acted foolish.

4. Boxing: Canseco was pleased to learn that he could make money by fighting other minor celebrities.  He boxed with former NFL running back Vai Sikahema and was knocked out in the first round.  He also boxed former cast member of The Partridge Family Danny Bonaduce and the fight finished in a draw.

Jose Canseco’s quest to be the most shameless man alive is far from over.  I have a feeling he is going to suprise us all with more pricelessly sad moments.  Here are my predictions for what the future holds for Canseco.

1. Jose Canseco’s Jackass : Canseco will continue the trend of hurting himself for money by reviving the MTV show Jackass .  After being hit in the crotch by a baseball shot out of a pitching machine, he is hospitalized for a week.  His testicles swell back to their pre-steroid size.

2. Canseco of Love : Canseco will be given his own reality dating show called Canseco of Love based on the proven VH1 formula.  He will form a connection with a woman who also abused steroids and will do anything to be on television.  The relationship will not work out and the woman will go on to do three painful reality shows of her own.

3. Jose Canseco vs. Kimbo Slice: The brakes were put on internet brawler Kimbo Slice’s mixed martial arts career after he lost to relatively unknown opponent, Seth Petruzelli.  Canseco will take on Slice in a match taking place in a Florida backyard.  The fight will appear only on YouTube, where Canseco’s beating will receive comments like, “pwned” and “you got knocked the f*ck out!”