Tournament All-Name Team

Written by markmywords

You know how video games create fake rookies in the offseason of franchise modes; when they use name generators taking common names and names of already existing players and come up with random gems like Jamal Ming.

Well the NCAA Tournament has some interesting names that look awfully generated. And some that no random generator could ever think of. (Wquinton???) I searched the rosters of all 64 teams to find the best, fakest, and most head-scratching names of the tournament.

Here is the All Name Team:

De’Jon Jackson- San Diego: Is that like Honey De’Jon?

LaceDarius Dunn- Baylor: Never seen "Lace" as a prefix for a name before.

Delbert Simpson- Baylor: Sounds like the nerd in elementary school who wore a pocket protector and could recite the periodic table of elements. Yet this guy is presumably a jock, so what do I know?

Idris Hilliard- Saint Joseph’s: Classic Madden fake name combining Idris Bashir and Ike Hilliard.

Tron Smith- Saint Mary’s: A ridiculous first name always sounds so much better when it precedes something so pedestrian like Smith. But not even Tron can be the best Smith…

Wquinton Smith- Wisconsin: I ask again, Wquinton??? Wquinton??? How is that combination of letters possible? Is the "W" really necessary? Wquinton???

Diamon Simpson- Saint Mary’s: Did his parents forget the "d" on diamond, or was it supposed to be that way?

Max Paulhus Gosselin- Davidson: Reminds me too much of Saved By the Bell’s Mark Paul Gosselaar not to make the list

Can Civi- Davidson: I don’t know, can he?

Rockwell Moody- Saint Joseph’s: I was shocked to learn that this guy isn’t some kind of a tycoon who owns an estate and ski lodge in Vermont.

Dubois Williams- Saint Mary’s: Probably an homage to W.E.B. Dubois. I think it would be cooler if he pronounced it Du-Bwah though.

Desire Gabou- Western Kentucky: First name sounds like a porn star. Second name sounds like, well, nothing I’ve ever heard of.

Other Favorites:

Chance McGrady- Memphis

Fernandez Lockett- Austin Peay

Gyno Pomare- San Diego

Dionte Christmas- Temple

Taj McCullough- Winthrop

Morakinyo Williams- Kentucky

Marcio Lassiter- Cal State Fullerton

LeKendric Longmire- Oregon

Churchill Odia- Oregon

Darshawn McClellan- Vanderbilt

Dau Jok- Oklahoma

Beau Gerber- Oklahoma

Wink Adams- UNLV

Haminn Quaintance- Kent State

Ravern Johnson- Mississippi St.

Kodi Augustus- Mississippi St.

Charoy Bentley- Saint Joseph’s

E’Twaun Moore- Purdue