While everyone is amazed that the Padres and Rockies played 22 innings of baseball last night (into this morning) I’m more baffled that it took the teams 14 innings to finally score.

The Red Sox and Yankees combined for 20 runs in the first five innings of the game played Wednesday, but these two NL West incompetents couldn’t push ONE F!@#$%& run across the board until inning 14?

Here’s a list of things I could do while waiting for the Padres and Rockies to score…

-Watch the Godfather trilogy.

-Read War and Peace.

-Party with Carmelo Anthony, sober up, and then drive home.

-Age two years a la Miguel Tejada.

-Watch the first round of the infamously drawn-out NFL draft and then grab a sandwich.

-Convince myself that hockey is a better sport than baseball because at least in the regular season, games end.

-Drive from my apartment in Maryland all the way to San Diego to watch the game’s finish.

-Take enough steroids that I could hit a walkoff homerun to end this crummy game.

-Get a good night’s sleep. Acttually that’s what I did. And surprisingly enough, the excitement from the opposite side of the country never woke me up.