A storm is gathering in the fairytale land of Michigan Football.

In the mythical village of Ann Arbor, strange happenings are afoot. Seasoned players are jumping ship left and right, but Captain RichRod is not concerned – he’s got a new recruit.

Greg Paulus, a distinguished Duke university basketball player, allegedly has been offered the position of starting quarterback at U of M. Captain RichRod wooed the Duke point guard while Paulus watched a practice last week in Ann Arbor. Yes, you read correctly; RichRod allegedly offered Paulus the STARTING QB position for the 2009 season.

He did not see Paulus throw the ball.
He did not see Paulus catch the ball.
He did not see Paulus run, jump or kick anything.
And, just in case it wasn’t clear before, Paulus has not played football in FOUR YEARS.
(Cue ominous thunderclouds and simulated lightening.)

Off in the magical forest of Detroit, the castle PR people work tirelessly to brew a magic potion that will lure back former fans and cast luck on the upcoming draft. They first employed their wordsmiths, but telling people the Lions were “record breakers” did not seem to repair last season’s damage. (The wordsmiths were then marched off to the dungeons of East Lansing, never to be seen again). They then flew banners all ‘round the kingdom declaring, “We’ve got first pick!!”, but the manufactured battle cry failed to rally the troops as they desired. At their wits end, the castle PR people plotted and schemed to come up with the best comeback strategy of all time…

… a new logo design.
(Cue maniacal cackling laughter and loud thunderclaps.)

Lions PR wizards unveil their secret weapon (Photo: G. Smith)