Three-time major champion Phil Mickelson is suspending his PGA Tour schedule indefinitely. His wife, Amy, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. According to a release from Mickelson’s management company, she will have major surgery as early as within the next two weeks. While America is truly sympathetic, some players on tour have taken a uniquely different stance.

Vijay Singh: “I want to see the X-rays. It’s not that I don’t believe it. But, I want to see the X-rays.”

Angel Cabrera: “Yo tambien. Por que estas en…”

Anthony Kim: “His wife’s hot. I’d like to bang her.”

Gary Player: “His wife’s hot. I’d like to bang her.”

Tiger Woods: “Cancer never stopped me. At one point, it seemed like my whole family had cancer - my mother, my brother, my cousin, my Auntie Woods. Even my dog, Tiger Jr. I just said f*ck it. I’m going out and winning this tournament for Jr.”

John Daly (while drinking Jack Daniel’s straight from bottle and swinging golf club): “I have breast cancer, too. Doesn’t bother me.”