Name: John Daly

Crime: Being a Fat Drunk

The PGA Championship is taking place this week at Hazeltine in Chaska, Minnesota and what better time to celebrate the PGA Tour’s biggest buffoon:  “Long John” Daly.  Yes, he may be as entertaining to watch as a 90mph train collision and even a great player when he wants to be - he holds 19 professional victories, including two major championships - but he is still golf’s biggest (and widest) basterd.

Here now are some of his career “highlights”:

* Daly claims when he was 23 years old he drank a fifth of Jack Daniel’s every day.  One incident includes him being removed from British Airways for harassing a flight attendant while drunk.

* Daly is charged with third-degree assault for throwing his second wife Bettye into a wall.  He apologizes for the incident, which has now been characterized more as a “shoving” than a “throwing.”  Daly later divorces Bettye when he learns she is ten years older than she had originally told him.

* In May 1993, after his opening round at the Kemper Open, Daly throws his score card in the scorer’s tent and gets disqualified.  In 1994, he quits in the middle of a round at Kapalua and is told to seek treatment for alcoholism.  These incidents, among others, result in a winless stretch between 1996 and 2001.  During this time, Daly becomes known for having spectacular blow-ups - often knocking multiple balls into the water or out-of-bounds, hitting the ball while it’s still moving and in play, and of course storming off greens in an alcohol induced rage.

* In 2005, Daly sues the Florida Times-Union for libel after a columnist claims that Daly, “failed the scoundrel sniff test.”  A judge later throws out the case, saying Daly failed to prove the statements were untrue.

* In 2006, Daly reveals in his autobiography that he has had a great difficulty with gambling.  He claims losing between $50 and $60 million over the previous 15 years.

* On March 1, 2007, Daly’s invited to play in the Honda Classic on a sponsor’s exemption.  He withdraws two holes later when he pulls a muscle near his shoulder blade trying to stop his backswing after a fan snaps his picture.

* On June 8, 2007, Daly and fourth wife Sherrie get into a fight at a restaurant in Memphis, Tennessee.  He shows up to the 2nd round of that week’s Stanford St. Jude Championship with cuts and scrapes across his face.  Daly claims his wife attacked him with a steak knife.

* In March 2008, Daly’s swing coach Butch Harmon quits, saying “the most important thing in [Daly's] life is getting drunk.”

* On October 26, 2008, Daly’s taken into custody after being found drunk and unconscious outside a Hooters restaurant in Winston-Salem, NC.

Indeed, it wasn’t too long ago when being a fat, ignorant drunk with a mullet on the PGA Tour was totally accepted, even celebrated (i.e. Fuzzy Zoeller).  But, that was prior to you-know-who.  Now, flaunting a Santa Claus belly out the bottom of a gay-looking European turquoise shirt just looks pathetic and sloppy AND makes you a real basterd.