Dear Answer Man,

 

Growing up we always thought of the typical hockey player as a guy who is missing teeth. We aren’t seeing that as much any more. What we are seeing are the huge mouthpieces. Why are we seeing so many mouth pieces nowadays?

 

Duane (Galena-MO)

 

You bring up something very near and dear to me Duane-o. That is the subject of teeth.  Growing up I watched guys like Brian Sutter, Bobby Clarke, Mark Messier and Bobby Orr all rock the no front teeth vibe. There was s dude I played with in high school who had a missing front tooth. So freakin’ cool. 

 

When I was 15 I took a puck to the face and got blasted open. I could actually put my tongue through my upper lip. Real gnarly. My face was broken but my teeth stayed intact.  I was bummed. Not only did I have to sit out of hockey for about 10 days but I didn’t get any missing teeth action. I did get a really bitchin’s scar on my face though. Still don’t have feeling in that section of my face after all of these years. I can do cool party tricks, chicks dig it.

 

On the Blues you have BJ Crombeen rockin’ the no tooth look and it looks a bit like a David Letterman gap but we all know otherwise. You have to earn the “no tooth”. It is like a badge of honor. It hurts and hurts big time. I equate it to getting a tattoo. There is a certain level of street cred involved. The pain is the right of passage and you gotta earn it.

 

You see tons of dudes with the mouth guards now. Man, growing up you never saw them.  It was like a visor. I notice it most with Backes, Boyes and Tkachuk. They immediately take it out to talk or as soon as the whistle blows. They all seem to have these giant mouth pieces. I know they get the real expensive ones. Probably light weight, biodegradable and the also probably glow in the dark.

 

I always thought of a mouth guard as like one of those dental dams. You know those things you hear about in health class for when you kiss some broad on her “downtown” and where it smells funny. To me, they didn’t make much sense. It would be like licking your snow tires and where’s the fun in that? It would also be hard to tell her, “Look, I’m finished now. Don’t look at me, wipe yourself off. You disgust me and get out!” Who can articulate any of that with a dental dam? Is it just me? I’m not being outlandish am I?

 

OK, back to mouth guards in the NHL. The main reason is not about losing teeth. It is about concussions. Take a look at the names of these new jack mouth pieces for hockey.  They are called Shock Doctor and/or Brain Pad. Notice when Cam Janssen goes into a fight, his teeth are clenched and cranked down on to his black mouth guard. Why? It is because if you get popped in the chin, you stand a real good chance of taking a nap face first into the ice. With a mouthpiece, it deadens the blow to give you a little bit better chance. You need a good chance when a 200 plus pound behemoth is trying to rearrange your kisser.

 

What about the guys who will never fight? They most likely have performance based contracts and any missed games can cause them to miss some serious pay days. Take Patrick Kane on Chicago. His mouth piece is never fully in his mouth. It is always hanging outside of his mouth like a dog with a pork chop. Not a big shocker, the kid is a giant weirdo and is probably into butt play with other guys.

 

Hell, even us Sr. Rec. Leaguers rock the mouth guard. Some dude where them because “I’m in sales” or “I don’t have dental insurance.” I say poppycock to them all. I will wear one from time to time if I know it is going to be a rough one. Just tell me straight, you don’t want to lose your teeth because it hurts or you like hard rubber things in your mouth (that’s what she said).

 

The missing tooth will always be around in hockey and there will always be guys who don’t wear a mouth guard.  The reason for the increase is because concussion run so rampant in the league nowadays but that is a whole other column for a later date.