The Mets held their annual photo-op-with-the-kiddies Christmas party last night. Hogging the spotlight was recently acquired closer Francisco Rodríguez, who was eagerly jumping up and down yelling “I’m coming to New York! I’m coming to New York!” Rodriguez then thanked the Mets for his $37 million contract, blessed a few children, threw a few million at a Salvation Army Bell Ringer and adopted a puppy.

“Figures,” muttered former Golden Boy David Wright. “New guy trying to impress the boss at the company holiday party. Real original,” he quipped as he inched closure to Jerry Manuel. “Wish I’d thought of that one,” he added while nonchalantly polished a few golden gloves and loudly brainstorming future David Wright Foundation charity events.

The Yankees Christmas party was also hit by the current economic woes. The party-planning budget was cut to subsidize CC Sabathia’s $161 million contract, so Girardi decided to simply set up a buffet table in the clubhouse and let Sabathia go at it. The remainder of the team, finding it impossible to score either the mashed potatoes or the pasta, looked on in disgust and decided to take their multi-million dollar salaries elsewhere.

“Everyone hates the office holiday party,” said A-Rod, “but you feel like you should at least make an appearance, you know?” Happy to have found a reason to bail early, he skipped out his car humming “Material Girl” the entire way.