Daunte Culpepper has retired from the NFL today. Once the second best quarterback in football, injuries and a love of gumbo have curtailed a promising career. Most importantly, it’s just another crazy ending to one of the craziest drafts of all time: the Class of 1999. Let’s catch up with the madness that was the Top 11.

1. Cleveland Browns – Tim Couch, QB, Kentucky. The revived Browns select a face of the franchise. That face had cold sores and tears streaming down its face. Cut by three NFL and one CFL team before dropping out of football in 2007.
2. Philadelphia Eagles – Donovan McNabb, QB, Syracuse. One of the prizes of the draft, McNabb took the Eagles to the Super Bowl in 2004 and made his mother the face of Chunky Soup. The best player to be loathed by his own fan base.
3. Cincinnati Bengals – Akili Smith, QB, Oregon. The first of the Joe Tedford Illusions, Smith missed training camp and didn’t read his playbook. Released by the Calgary Stampeders in 2007. No one in Calgary noticed.
4. Indianapolis Colts – Edgerrin James, RB, Miami. Had seven great seasons as part of The Triplets in Indy. Slowed in 2002 by an ACL injury. Signed a big money deal with Arizona, proving it’s a lot easier to run when you’re on the field with Peyton Manning and a slew of Pro Bowl receivers.
5. New Orleans Saints – Ricky Williams, RB, Texas. Hmm. Pretty low key career. Nothing out of the ordinary. Wallflower.
6. St. Louis Rams – Torry Holt, WR, NC State. There we go. Perennial Pro Bowler and the next Chris Collinsworth in the booth who helped turn the Rams into the GSOT.
7. Washington Redskins – Champ Bailey, CB, Georgia. Best cover man in the league for years. Traded to Denver by The Daniel for a runningback who likes to play Dress-Up.
8. Arizona Cardinals – David Boston, WR, Ohio State. Had a few great seasons before discovering his love of steroids and getting injured.
9. Detroit Lions – Chris Claiborne, LB, USC. Kicked around five teams before landing on Jacksonville’s practice squad in 2007. Doesn’t enjoy tackling.
10. Baltimore Ravens – Chris McAlister, CB, Arizona. A flaky, but awesome shutdown corner who helped the Ravens win the Super Bowl in 2000. QB-starved fan base wanted Culpepper.
11. Minnesota Vikings – Daunte Culpepper, QB, Central Florida. Retired in 2008.

This draft class was compared to the 1983 Class of Quarterbacks, which included Hall of Famers Jim Kelly, John Elway, and Dan Marino. To round out 1999, and prove my point, Cade McNown was picked by the Bears in the first round, and banned from the Playboy Mansion. I rest my case.