Presidents do some crazy stuff on their way out. Clinton granted 140 pardons. Bush is trying to figure out how to remove the custom adult-sized swingset and merry-go-round he installed in the Oval Office. Putin signed a law enacting changes to Russian Federation Labor Code – in other words, did everything he could to screw over the NHL.

The new law tightens the reins on players brought up through Russia’s national hockey league who, after years of grooming and training, were  “uncontrollably departing” to the NHL, according to a NY Times article. With the revised labor laws players will now have to compensate their clubs before bailing for the US, making it more difficult and costly for the US to poach Russian players.

Attempting to show both sides of the issue, the Times profiled Alexei Yashin, a former NHL-er who recently moved back to Russia to play after the Islanders gave him the boot. His supermodel “companion” Carol Alt, recently uprooted from her posh Manhattan apartment to a Russian village in the middle of nowhere, participated in the interview as well.

Yashin: “Games are becoming more and more enjoyable.”
Translation: “If I get hit in the head enough during one game I almost feel like I’m in Nassau County again.”

Yashin: “It shows that the country is going in the right direction.”
Translation: “My $17.63 million buyout pays for 1 nice apartment in Manhattan and 5 small towns with functioning feudal systems here. I’m staying.”

Carol Alt: “That three-hour ride up to Yaroslavl after a 15-hour flight after shooting all day long — not fun.”
Translation: “Did you hear my say ‘shoot’, as in ‘photo shoot’? I was on The Apprentice for Christ’s sake.  You don’t recognize me??”

Yashin: “Less and less players are going to the N.H.L. and more and more are coming back here.”
Translation: “I can’t count.”

Yaroslavl, Russia, Carol Alt’s new home