In order to be considered the greatest uniform in sports, you need to be recognizable, classic, and interesting. The Oregon Ducks look like they were designed at Epcot: Football of the Future, sponsored by AT&T. The New York Yankees nail the recognizable and classic traits, but they are a symbol of doom for most. Seeing your former player don the pinstripes and dark blue hat is like slipping a death shroud on him. That’s right, Yankee Stadium is Abu Ghraib.

So how can you be interesting without being synonymous with evil?

The Crimson Tide of Allllllllabama! (Thanks, Keith Jackson. Enjoy your cream of wheat.)

In every sport, the uniforms are designed with the mascot in mind. In the case of Alabama, the exact opposite was true. The mascot was the elephants, but a game back in 1907 against rival Auburn changed everything, when a sportswriter named Hugh Roberts described the team as a “crimson tide” moving up and down the field. That’s interesting.

Along with Notre Dame and Michigan, Alabama is the most storied school in college football history. The insanely simple red and white with the blank helmet bearing only a number on the side is college football. In the age of HD, everyone goes over the top to make color schemes as crazy as possible, so much so that Sportscenter anchors occasionally wear flamenco dresses during broadcasts. And you try to figure out who the hell that is out there on the field. But when you see the red and white, you know exactly who you’re dealing with. Then you think about Forrest Gump playing for them…and then you think about the submarine movie Crimson Tide…then you think that Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks were together in Philadelphia…two of the finest actors of our generation.

And it’s all because of the helmets with the numbers on them.