There are certainties in football. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are in their own class of quarterback. Ed Reed has a legit shot to take every pick to the house. LaDainian Tomlinson couldn’t be more done if he was Christian Slater’s TV action career.

And Norv Turner is a horrible coach.

Brad Childress is a bad coach. Romeo Crennel and Scott Linehan were insanely bad. Mike Nolan wasn’t that bad, but got submarined by the Alex Smith era. Herm Edwards is not only a bad coach, but one of the most confused men alive. The facial expression constantly plastered on his face is that of a guy who just heard Jimmy Fallon was replacing Conan.

And then there’s Norv.

He couldn’t win with a thousand free agents in Washington. He was a train wreck in Oakland. And he replaced a coach who went 14-2 in San Diego. Bad coach.

But thens something weird happened. In the last two Decembers and Januaries, Norv is 12-1.

TWELVE AND ONE! With the only loss coming to the nearly unbeatable ’07 Pats.

That’s insane. Nay, staggering. Sure there was an awful lot of luck involved, including the aforementioned Herm’s Herculean choke job at Arrowhead. Once or twice is luck, but the winning percentage is 92%! They just gave Peyton Manning the MVP award for going 9-1 in his last ten.

This year’s San Diego roster is not the team he inherited from Marty Shottenheimer. All-Pro sack dancer Shawne Merriman has been out all year. Tomlinson has gone from being the queen-on-the-chessboard to being a pawn a two year old shoved in his nostril. Antonio Gates is hurt, Marcus McNeill has regressed, and the only real factor on the team is a world-class Olympian in the 200 meter a-hole (Philip “Never Beat Maryland” Rivers). This should have been the breakdown season, like the ’07 Ravens, ’02 Rams, and ’99 Broncos. But instead, Norv has his team traveling to Pittsburgh for the Divisional Round.

And they could win.

What if Darren “Webster” Sproles runs all over Heinz Field? What if Rivers beats suspect Titan or Baltimore corners? Are we ready to have Norv Turner in the Super Bowl? What does that mean for our way of life?

It means we should watch out for Gleaming the Cube on NBC.