Blog Roll

22. New England Patriots – The Pats are still rebuilding their defense, and had better get a stud pass rusher to replace the soon to be departed Adalius Thomas. The Pick: Carlos Dunlap, DE, Florida

Thirteen year old David Sills of Delaware has verbally committed to play football at USC. This isn’t just some sort of ridiculous local stunt to get the kid who works at the Foster’s Freeze some TV time. Lane Kiffin recruited him.

On one hand, this is a progressive choice. Soccer stars are often recruited at an early age and most tennis prodigies are whisked away to secret European training bunkers around twelve.

On the other, the kid could stop growing, get hurt, or suddenly get really into skateboarding and huffing copier toner.

I know you want to get your guy, Kiffin, but how about we wait until he sprouts a pube?

Here’s a highlight reel of the USC quarterback of the future-future-future-future. He sure looks good…BECAUSE HE’S PLAYING AGAINST OTHER MIDDLE SCHOOLERS!

One more thing: the song in this video (which is OBVIOUSLY produced by a dirty, booster freeloading person of interest) is called All Kindsa Time, outlining how the quarterback has all the time in the world to complete the pass. Not “he’s really good” or “stepping into the pocket” or delivering his throws with pinpoint accuracy.” He’s got all kindsa time. If Jeff George had all kindsa time, he wouldn’t be Jeff George. Just saying.

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We should have known.

So many old books had been rewritten this year. It was all about the quarterbacks, not just the last two, but about ten guys who were all elevated to franchise passers this season. It was all about the death of defense, or rather the birth of about seventy rules to make playing defense damn near impossible. And the final four coaches this year were two rookies, Brad Childress and Sean Payton. Childress is maybe the scariest coaching situation in the league, at least as far as his own fans are concerned. That leaves Payton.

Coaching wins.

Super Bowl XLIV, which was another amazing game for the third straight season, was billed as Peyton Manning vs Drew Brees, the second coming of Joe Montana vs Dan Marino, but it was actually Payton vs Jim Caldwell.

Caldwell blinked maybe twice and opened his mouth fewer times than Alice does in the new Tim Burton trailer. Payton stunned Indianapolis with an onside kick to open the second half. And that was just his most visible stroke of absolute genius:

-After Dwight Freeney took down Brees with one hand, he was never heard from again. Payton erased him by doubling him, chipping him, and running right at him. For a number of big plays at the end of the game, he was on the sideline sucking wind.

-Along with defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, Payton executed the one kind of fourth quarter game plan that could possibly work against Manning: the one he hadn’t seen. After dropping six or seven guys into coverage for most of the game, the fourth quarter became a Rex Ryan free-for-all. Four guys were in coverage on the pick six, everyone else was rushing.

-Payton kept his team psychologically in the game. The fourth and goal from the two was exactly the right call, successful or not, because field goals don’t beat Manning. Know what happened? Indy went three and out and the Saints got a field goal anyway.

-The onside kick. No one is better, maybe ever, than Manning coming out of halftime. So why not keep the ball out of his hands? Unreal.

Brees was named Super Bowl MVP. Pierre Thomas was a force. Tracy Porter was the defensive hero. But Payton got carried off the field.

The NBA was built to be a star league. Baseball was designed to be about the owners and the bucks. NASCAR is about drinking, heavily, while outside. Football is and has always been about the coaches. Don Shula was carried off after the perfect season. Vince Lombardi, John Madden, Joe Gibbs, and Bill Parcells were all as well.

Quarterbacks win you games. Coaches win you Super Bowls.

Just ask Marino.

21. Cincinnati Bengals – What’s funny is that the Bengals, for all intents and purposes, could have taken Bryan Bulaga here. But, if you’ll recall, bust-tastic Andre Smith is making the big bucks already. Talking about needs, the Bengals have a few more than you think, namely because they played WAY above expectations. They also have a beat up tight end prospect in Chase Coffman. Those aren’t nearly as expensive as far as errors go. They need someone else to touch the ball that isn’t Ochocinco. The Pick: Jermaine Gresham, TE, OSU

20. Houston Texans – The Texans get whomever’s left, basically. Just like Atlanta, they need a safety. Mays may suit them less if only because that division demands speed and intelligence. After Eric Berry, the next best free safety is a local boy. The Pick: Earl Thomas, S, Texas.

19. Atlanta Falcons – They need a corner like they need a non-dog killer. But I think they may settle for this guy. The Falcons have budding stars on the offensive side of the ball, but don’t have that guy on defense. They need someone in the secondary that the Saints are going to fear. This guy could be a bust, and he could also be the best player in the whole damned thing. The Pick: Taylor Mays, S, USC.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers – Again, crapflips. Pittsburgh needed a tackle so badly it’s ridiculous. They need one so bad they may try to trade up for one. They gotta get somebody, although shoring up the secondary will have to be a priority eventually. The problem with Taylor Mays is that he’s a Troy Polamalu clone. Two lead guitarists doesn’t work. The Pick: Anthony Davis, OT, Rutgers.

17. San Francisco 49ers (from Carolina) – Mike Singletary is a smart guy. He’s not making the picks just by himself, but he knows how to win games. They get kind of a coup here: securing their offensive line with the guy that might be this year’s Michael Oher. The Pick: Trent Williams, OT, Oklahoma.

If you have no interest in hurricanes or the Peyton Manning Dynasty, don’t turn to baseball to entertain you right now. Nothing’s going on.

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16. Tennessee Titans – Whatever the opposite of a backflip is, that’s what Tennessee is doing. Adding Dez Bryant to the VY-Chris Johnson speed machine would make the Titans nearly unstoppable on offense. Well…what now? I think they have almost no choice but to take the best player on the board and prepare to replace Jevon Kearse. The Pick: Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, Baylor.